Quote: James Cotter @ July 22 2011, 7:31 PM BSTIt will and I want to work with a company on making it. I'm planning on sending the scripts and the radio versions as well as the orginal filmed pilot and seeing what can made of it. It's been my plan for a while.
Best of luck to you.
The voice sounds like Tony Blackburn with a moderate brain injury on a valium drip
The jokes are weakish.
And the style is gratingly narrated. "My uncle..." "Then I..."
"Resistance to my didactic monotone is futile."
James do better.
I know I said that my laptop crashed when I tried to listen to epissodes 1 & 2, well this time it tried to jump out of the window.
Just kidding, although it did crash again.
I thought the voice seemed a bit better this time around.
And there were some nice bits in the script.
But it's a struggle to listen to for 10 minutes.
And I frequently found myself drifting away.
Quote: sootyj @ July 22 2011, 8:31 PM BSTThe voice sounds like Tony Blackburn with a moderate brain injury on a valium drip
This is exactly what I'm talking about early about the wording of 'criticism'. Do you think I'm doing something about the voice based about that? No but if someone (can't remember who possible Marc) points it out to say perhaps reverted the original more which I have done more and that has been pointed out I will do it. Look guys I will listen to feedback and have done already over the last couple episodes but help me out here with feedback not offence remarks.
Oh c'mon you want polite respectful feedback then pay some of the script readers who'll charge you £50 a pop.
Then laugh at you with the script writing class they take.
Ok your voice is monotone in this role. It's hard to place who Spicer is, even how old he is. You're so clearly uncomfortable with it you kill every joke or inflection you attempt.
And those jokes were no great shakes to begin with.
I don't think you even know who he really is, certainly I don't.
But I think my original remark said it more concisely.
Quote: sootyj @ July 22 2011, 9:46 PM BSTOh c'mon you want polite respectful feedback then pay some of the script readers who'll charge you £50 a pop.
Then laugh at you with the script writing class they take.
Ok your voice is monotone in this role. It's hard to place who Spicer is, even how old he is. You're so clearly uncomfortable with it you kill every joke or inflection you attempt.
And those jokes were no great shakes to begin with.
I don't think you even know who he really is, certainly I don't.
But I think my original remark said it more concisely.
I know who he is and feel very comfortable playing him. He's not that dissimilar from my voice or from me personality wise, of course over egged in both points. I know people who talk like him but worse, more put on if you will. It's not that much of a 'voice, voice'. Mark Rodgers is a 'voice, voice' but that wasn't widely liked. Tony from Changed The Record was my voice exactly but was 'too dull'. Jules from Hairdressers 'too over the top'. Maybe my next project will be a silent radio show which before anyone says has been done, wonder if anyone on here knows by who?
James the problem is all I hear is you doing an impersonation of a mediocre radio DJ.
As a character he really doesn't have any life of his own.
Have you ever just freestyled with him?
Quote: sootyj @ July 22 2011, 9:57 PM BSTJames the problem is all I hear is you doing an impersonation of a mediocre radio DJ.
As a character he really doesn't have any life of his own.
Have you ever just freestyled with him?
Yes and was told don't do that and do written material by people on here!
So who's assembling the final scripts?
I mean episode one the written in jokes were clear and very good.
But the last 2, who put all the elements together?
Quote: sootyj @ July 22 2011, 10:03 PM BSTSo who's assembling the final scripts?
I mean episode one the written in jokes were clear and very good.
But the last 2, who put all the elements together?
Episode one and four was written by Andrew Flaherty. Episode two and six by me. And episode three and five by Tim Azure. Myself, Andrew and Josh Merritt script edit.
INCEST!!
Quote: James Cotter @ July 22 2011, 9:54 PM BSTMaybe my next project will be a silent radio show...
Now I'd pay a dollar to hear that...
One thing about DJs is that you only ever really hear them in short, sharp, bursts, they are mainly just there to link the records they play and speak very little...
Can you imagine Tony Blackburn, or any DJ come to think of it, droning on for 10 minutes at a time...?
That's why I suggested starting off with something a bit shorter, something hot, build up a fanbase and then expand from there...
I thought the voice sounded a lot better this time.
And if you were deliberately toning it down then it worked for me in that sense.
For these Spicer mono0logues I'd go with Marc P's advice and use your own voice.
When you are acting and doing an impression at the same time, the acting often seems to suffer
Quote: sootyj @ July 22 2011, 8:31 PM BSTThe jokes are weakish.
Er, actually I wrote it. Thanks for your feedback on that anyway.
Quote: sootyj @ July 22 2011, 9:46 PM BSTOh c'mon you want polite respectful feedback then pay some of the script readers who'll charge you £50 a pop.
Actually I'm a bit unsure of what you hope to achieve, James. This is a bearpit. Rude reviews are just part of it.
Sorry Tim, but is it actually how you wrote it?
The didactic "My uncle came and such and such happened"
Is the thing that undermines the jokes.