The Spicer Life Episode Three The Misunderstanding Page 2

Quote: RedZed333 @ July 22 2011, 4:09 PM BST

Your written intro seemed to indicate this was what the whole piece was about, I got pretty bored waiting for it to arrive...

Do you recall me asking you in ep1 whether it was a parody? I wasn't taking the piss, I really thought it was a really good attempt at deliberately being crap, reading some of the other 'constructive' criticisms on here I don't think I'm in the minority...

If I was to offer advice I'd give up on taking yourself (Spicer) so seriously and present him as an really annoying bastard instead (you're halfway there already). Cut the airtime dramatically by at least five minutes and concentrate on one short but interesting piece each week...

Get in late, get out early...

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What a load of rubbish honestly. Look there's aspects which could be improved I'll be the first to admit that but in no way is it crap. If you say stuff like that I'm not really going to be that keen to listen to your advice.

Quote: David Bussell @ July 22 2011, 10:32 AM BST

Did somebody tell you your pitch should read no longer than a single sentence, James?

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What pitch?

Quote: James Cotter @ July 22 2011, 4:25 PM BST

What a load of rubbish honestly. Look there's aspects which could be improved I'll be the first to admit that but in no way is it crap. If you say stuff like that I'm not really going to be that keen to listen to your advice.

What pitch?

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The one below the picture in your original post.

Quote: James Cotter @ July 22 2011, 4:12 PM BST

What a load of rubbish honestly. Look there's aspects which could be improved I'll be the first to admit that but in no way is it crap. If you say stuff like that I'm not really going to be that keen to listen to your advice.

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First off, I never said it was crap, I actually said it was very good at being crap which is what parodies deliberately set out to do, ie: take the piss...

And I genuinely thought it was a parody, I thought you taking the piss out of Tony Blackburn, someone else thought you sounded like him too...

And I'm not really bothered that you won't be keen to listen to my advice, that's appears to be a particular trait of yours anyway...

Quote: David Bussell @ July 22 2011, 4:28 PM BST

The one below the picture in your original post.

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Not really a pitch more a episode synopsis. How about this (two lines I know but best I could do):

Jeremy tries to get a date with Geraldine however a unfortunate misunderstanding puts pay to this.

Quote: RedZed333 @ July 22 2011, 4:30 PM BST

First off, I never said it was crap, I actually said it was very good at being crap which is what parodies deliberately set out to do, ie: take the piss...

And I genuinely thought it was a parody, I thought you taking the piss out of Tony Blackburn, someone else thought you sounded like him too...

And I'm not really bothered that you won't be keen to listen to my advice, that's appears to be a particular trait of yours anyway...

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Look as is the title of this thread there's been a misunderstanding between both of us this happened the other day with myself and Ben. If you didn't say it was crap I apologize but I did say when you originally asked me if it was a spoof that it wasn't so thought you were just calling it crap. I will listen to your's and other's feedback and as I expressed to you in a PM I have already done that to make the series.

Quote: JohnnyD @ July 22 2011, 4:43 PM BST

"Jeremy's uncle turns up at the university and tries to get him a date with Geraldine however a unfortunate misunderstanding makes Jeremy look foolish in front of a neurotic talent agent meant for Giles but she actually ends up signing Jeremy but will this success last?" needs punctuation.

This might be DB's point!

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Yeah I know that we've already talked about it above.

Quote: James Cotter @ July 22 2011, 4:25 PM BST

What a load of rubbish honestly. Look there's aspects which could be improved I'll be the first to admit that but in no way is it crap. If you say stuff like that I'm not really going to be that keen to listen to your advice.

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When someone says something you've done is crappy it's worth hearing them out, particularly when they go into some detail as to why. Of course you can choose to reject their criticism, but you'd do well to weigh it up first. Personally I wouldn't use a word like "crappy" as I find it needlessly confrontational, but I will say I think the piece is failing dramatically and comedically. To me it's neither gripping ror funny, and I'll throw in with the rest of the posters who've given their consensus that the voice you've gone for is grating, overegged and derivative. It's also painfully long and indulgent.

I know you don't want to hear it but at this stage I think you'd be better off thinking of your output as draft material rather than polished episodes - it'll allow you more freedom to evolve rather than trapping yourself in a creative rut because you're worried about causing yourself continuity problems. If this thing was just entitled 'Jeremy Spicer project' and treated as character development you could have allowed yourself the freedom to adapt your voice and rewrite your material rather than having to build and build on faulty foundations. It's great that you're keen and producing material but allow yourself space to grow without boxing yourself in.

Quote: David Bussell @ July 22 2011, 4:46 PM BST

When someone says something you've done is crappy it's worth hearing them out, particularly when they go into some detail as to why. Of course you can choose to reject their criticism, but you'd do well to weigh it up first. Personally I wouldn't use a word like "crappy" as I find it needlessly confrontational, but I will say I think the piece is failing dramatically and comedically. To me it's neither gripping ror funny, and I'll throw in with the rest of the posters who've given their consensus that the voice you've gone for is grating, overegged and derivative. It's also painfully long and indulgent.

I know you don't want to hear it but at this stage I think you'd be better off thinking of your output as draft material rather than polished episodes - it'll allow you more freedom to evolve rather than trapping yourself in a creative rut because you're worried about causing yourself continuity problems. If this thing was just entitled 'Jeremy Spicer project' and treated as character development you could have allowed yourself the freedom to adapt your voice and rewrite your material rather than having to build and build on faulty foundations. It's great that you're keen and producing material but allow yourself space to grow without boxing yourself in.

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That's exactly what I was going to say...

And you're right about using words like 'crap'. I'm more than educated enough to find words that mean crap but are far less offensive...

I do apologise...

Quote: David Bussell @ July 22 2011, 4:46 PM BST

When someone says something you've done is crappy it's worth hearing them out, particularly when they go into some detail as to why. Of course you can choose to reject their criticism, but you'd do well to weigh it up first. Personally I wouldn't use a word like "crappy" as I find it needlessly confrontational, but I will say I think the piece is failing dramatically and comedically. To me it's neither gripping ror funny, and I'll throw in with the rest of the posters who've given their consensus that the voice you've gone for is grating, overegged and derivative. It's also painfully long and indulgent.

I know you don't want to hear it but at this stage I think you'd be better off thinking of your output as draft material rather than polished episodes - it'll allow you more freedom to evolve rather than trapping yourself in a creative rut because you're worried about causing yourself continuity problems. If this thing was just entitled 'Jeremy Spicer project' and treated as character development you could have allowed yourself the freedom to adapt your voice and rewrite your material rather than having to build and build on faulty foundations. It's great that you're keen and producing material but allow yourself space to grow without boxing yourself in.

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This is draft material for the filmed version and what works and doesn't work will be changed for later version.

Quote: James Cotter @ July 22 2011, 3:55 PM BST

I can hardly hear much background noise the ticking is very low and the car's passing by are car's passing by. I took what you said onboard and attempted to do something about it. Still not happy though.

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Just listened again on my laptop Speakers and now I can't hear the cars at all. Must of been my headphones. Fair enough I'll admit I was wrong the effects are ok.

Quote: Gavin @ July 22 2011, 5:14 PM BST

Just listened again on my laptop speakers and now I can't hear the cars at all. Must of been my headphones. Fair enough I'll admit I was wrong the effects are ok.

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Thank you see I listen to feedback.

Quote: James Cotter @ July 22 2011, 4:37 PM BST

Look as is the title of this thread there's been a misunderstanding between both of us etc....

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I've noticed that you seem to come in for a fair amount of flak from other posters at times, whether it's just a bit of friendly ribbing or some nasty jabbing I don't really know, I haven't been around long enough to suss that out yet, but I can assure you I wouldn't post anything just to get a cheap shot at you...

I don't like to comment on the actual material, that's your personal art, but what I do tend to offer is honest advice/criticism on your presentation, how I feel after listening to your piece, are you meeting your projected aims etc. What you do with it is entirely up to you, of course...

I AM your audience, that don't necessarily make right, but once you put your stuff in the public domain it's going to attract comments good and bad, try keeping an open mind will only make your stuff better...

For what it's worth I really like Spicer, but not in the way he currently portrayed...

Keep at it...

Quote: RedZed333 @ July 22 2011, 5:48 PM BST

I've noticed that you seem to come in for a fair amount of flak from other posters at times, whether it's just a bit of friendly ribbing or some nasty jabbing I don't really know, I haven't been around long enough to suss that out yet, but I can assure you I wouldn't post anything just to get a cheap shot at you...

I don't like to comment on the actual material, that's your personal art, but what I do tend to offer is honest advice/criticism on your presentation, how I feel after listening to your piece, are you meeting your projected aims etc. What you do with it is entirely up to you, of course...

I AM your audience, that don't necessarily make right, but once you put your stuff in the public domain it's going to attract comments good and bad, try keeping an open mind will only make your stuff better...

For what it's worth I really like Spicer, but not in the way he currently portrayed...

Keep at it...

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Okay that's fair enough and when comments are worded like this I'm happy to accept that.

Quote: James Cotter @ July 22 2011, 5:04 PM BST

This is draft material for the filmed version and what works and doesn't work will be changed for later version.

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Get yourself a director James if you are going to film it.

Quote: James Cotter @ July 22 2011, 5:04 PM BST

This is draft material for the filmed version and what works and doesn't work will be changed for later version.

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Good on you. Don't forget that the translation from audio to visual will probably warrant some changes too.

Quote: Marc P @ July 22 2011, 7:29 PM BST

Get yourself a director James if you are going to film it.

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I will. I don't want to be part of the production team I just want to be in it and be part of a team of writers. I'm going to look in to doing this.

Quote: David Bussell @ July 22 2011, 7:30 PM BST

Good on you. Don't forget that the translation from audio to visual will probably warrant some changes too.

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It will and I want to work with a company on making it. I'm planning on sending the scripts and the radio versions as well as the orginal filmed pilot and seeing what can made of it. It's been my plan for a while.