T.W.
Friday 30th September 2011 7:32pm [Edited]
15,786 posts
Went for a writing meeting in London this afternoon. Meeting over, I slowly escaped the city through the early rush-hour traffic, on my way back to Bristol. Desperate for a wee, as soon as I hit the M4 I pulled in to Heston Services. Having relieved my bladder, I bought a coffee and a Private Eye and took them back to my car.
As I sat there, another car parked alongside mine. Its occupants appeared to be Stewart Lee and his wife and kids.
Surreptitiously checking that I hadn't been mistaken, I kept trying to sneak glimpses without being seen to stare. Yes - it was definitely Stew! I sat there trying to not look awestruck or to gawp rudely, especially as he and his wife were attending to their kids and probably had just endured a somewhat hellish escape from London themselves.
However, I couldn't help myself, my eyes kept being drawn to look at one of my comedy heroes - right there a few feet away from me, performing mundane domestic duties on a hot, sticky afternoon in a motorway services car park!
Eventually, Stew noticed me looking and his eyes met mine... I wound down my window and greeted him with the words, "My my, kd lang, you've let yourself go!". He didn't even crack a smile! Sensing potential embarrassment on his part, I put him at his ease by continuing, "That McIntyre's a right c**t, isn't he?!". Stew's face betrayed nothing, but he very slowly walked over to my car, leant down to the open window and very calmly whispered in my ear "Michael's a good guy trying to do a very difficult job in a fearful economic and political climate, where the ordinary man- and woman-in-the-street are craving any laughs they can get. And, besides that, he's a close personal friend of mine, so please don't be cruel... Oh - and I'd be grateful if you didn't use that kind of vulgar language in front of my young, impressionable children."
Then he walked away from me. Calling after him, I said "Well, I didn't think you'd be actually a friend of McIntyre's in real life!". Stew turned and, as he got in the passenger seat of his car murmured back, "Yeah? And what makes you think this is real life?"... He and his wife then drove away, heading towards the petrol station to fill-up.
And I thought - well, can you believe anything any comedian - no matter how fearless, truthful and dedicated to their art they seem to be - tells you?
Now... the second half of that story about Stewart Lee is untrue... But I think what it tells us about Stewart Lee.....
(In reality, after Mr Lee embarrassingly caught me staring at him, I kept myself to myself. Wish I'd at least said hello and offered some appreciative comments to one of my comedy heroes. But he was with his wife and kids and, under those circumstances, it seemed wrong to bother him.)