RADIO SKETCH TYPE THING:
Geoff is laughing at full pace, which naturally starts to fade. But before every last chuckle has escaped, Frank interrupts and bares a scornful tone to his voice throughout.
Frank:[scornful]
I've never liked you.
The laughter stops dead.
Geoff:
What? Why?
Frank:
You know why.
Geoff:[confused]
Frank, I honestly don't?
Frank:
Nobody likes you Geoff.
Geoff:
Look. Is this about...
Frank:
No, it's not about the bloody promotion.
Geoff:
Then what?
Frank:
You... stink!
Geoff:
Professionally?
Frank:
No, no... You literally smell of poo and wee.
Geoff:
I'm not sure where this hostility is comi...
Frank:
And you're fat!
Geoff:
That's just childish.
Frank:[mocking]
That's just childish.
Geoff:
Oh, come on!
Frank:[increasing anger]
You're ugly. Your face repulses me. I get physically sick when looking at you. God, I hate you!
Geoff:
Now listen here.
Frank:
No, you listen here GEOFF.
Geoff:
Are you lifting your fists to me?
Frank:
Yeah, maybe I can finally make you look REAL pretty!
Geoff:
I ain't afraid of you!
Frank:
Come'on then!
They both let out their war cries.
*SFX SMASHING/BREAKING OBJECTS*
They suddenly stop. Gasping for breath.
Then silence.
Frank:[confused anger]
I love you Geoff!
Geoff:
You've got a bloody funny way of showing it.
Frank laughs.
*SFX DOOR OPENS*
Helen:
Are you alright, dear?
Geoff:
Yeah, I'm just brushing my teeth. You get in bed, I'm nearly done.
*SFX WATER RUNNING FOLLOWED BY TEETH BRUSHING*
*SFX DOOR CLOSING AND THEN REOPENING*
Helen:
Um, who were you talking to?
Geoff:[mouth full of toothpaste]
Mmm Mmmm mmmmm mm.
Helen:
Never mind.
*SFX Door closing*
Geoff:[muffled from other side of door]
Frank, I can't, I'm married.
END
