church sketch for Christmas eve service Page 2

ok thanks everyone so I will keep it inoffensive and add more puns and structure it more thanks a lot for the advice.

How about this for a silly church based pun:

Any character:
I've forgotten my next line, hang on a minute...

Character goes over to the font, puts his ear to it and nods.

Any character:
That was the font of all knowledge.

Definitely don't go for 'offensive' for a church youth group!

You can get away with poking fun at people you know or church traditions though.

Quote: RedZed333 @ July 11 2011, 6:17 PM BST

I never realised Christians had so much fun...

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Milton Jones seems to enjoy himself...

Quote: 404 Not Found @ July 11 2011, 7:16 PM BST

How about this for a silly church based pun:

Any character:
I've forgotten my next line, hang on a minute...

Character goes over to the font, puts his ear to it and nods.

Any character:
That was the font of all knowledge.

View original

nice

also to clear thing s up I wasn't intending to be properly offensive but just slightly cheeky but I think that even that might be slightly pushing it.

I disagree, go for a show these people will never forget. They spend their lives walking around dressed like foster parents and tapping their toes to tambourine rifts, for f**ks sake its Christmas give them a show.

You could start by suggesting the vicars a peado and then light up a spliff, once they get over that call the Women's Institute a gang of neo Nazi sluts and then steal the collection plate on the way out, then a quick flick of the spliff onto the crib roof should get them moving.

hahaha that would go down well...

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ July 11 2011, 7:50 PM BST

I disagree, go for a show these people will never forget. They spend their lives walking around dressed like foster parents and tapping their toes to tambourine rifts, for f**ks sake its Christmas give them a show.

You could start by suggesting the vicars a peado and then light up a spliff, once they get over that call the Women's Institute a gang of neo Nazi sluts and then steal the collection plate on the way out, then a quick flick of the spliff onto the crib roof should get them moving.

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This appears to be a CofE event. Not the vatican.

BTW - I thought this was good. Spot on. Nice Christingle gags, I mean they are bizzare looking things.

Quote: samcheese @ July 11 2011, 7:46 PM BST

nice

also to clear thing s up I wasn't intending to be properly offensive but just slightly cheeky but I think that even that might be slightly pushing it.

View original

Well if the font joke might be pushing it, it's a good job I din't mention my joke about the massive organ.

no the font joke is fine I was talking in general terms

You can alway altar it later...

Of Jesus was happy his parents had a stable relationship

Jesus was so gentle, kind and forgiving, though he did get cross in the end.

I think you're heading in the right direction but as others have said some obvious targets missed such as Carol and you could make more use of Grant.
And of course there are always the disasters in making the Christingles - skewered fingers, kids eating all the sweets, stapling fingers into the bands. And the joys of lighting the Christingles in church making sure that none of the little darlings go up in flames. I did once get to throw a bucket of water over a child whose long flowing locks became long flaming locks.

You could break the ice by pointing at the front of your trousers and saying .
If you ride this ride this Little Donkey, you won't be having a Silent Night.

thanks for the church based puns they are all great apart from those that are disturbing