Group writing exercise: Weather Forecast

This is a sketch I am too lazy to write, so I am throwing it open for others to chip in.

In the spirit of G Wily a weather forecaster is giving the prospects for different parts of the country, only in this case the weather predicted rhymes with the places mentioned.

The rhymes can be either used directly, e.g.

You will need overcoats in Saltcoats

Or inferred, e.g.

In Bude you will be able to get a good all over tan

In Missenden it will be raining really quite hard

Have fun with it, and should we get enough I will have ago at assembling the best of them into a working sketch.

In Glasgae toon it's pishing doon.

In the rest of the nation, precipitation.

Didn't the Two Ronnies do this exact sketch?

I'm sorry to come across as a bit of a metch
But didn't the 2 Ronnies do this exact sketch?

In Hull it will be dull, but the Isle of Wight will be bright.

In Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch it will will start nice and fair with gales and a drop of rain over the hills though still no, no fog.

The suggestion Ben has made might rain on this parade.

Well he did nod to it at the outset
In cromer it's mostly cloudy and wet

Its very cold in Stow on the Wold

The Pollen's high on the Isle Of Skye while in the Mull of Kintrye the weathers dire.

In Cheltenham town its pissing down.
Bath is a washout!

In Manchester it is said to swelter,
down in Chester you need a sou'wester.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_towns_in_the_United_Kingdom

This might be useful.

In Powys and Morley the showers are squally.

In Glengorm there'll be a short storm
In Ognar it will be longer

In Abergavenny there are some clouds but not many.

In Berwick-upon-Tweed, a brolly you'll need,
but in Hay on Wye, it'll be mainly dry.

In Liverpool, the night will be cool,
but in Newton-Le-Willows you'll sweat on your pillows.