Glad to hear it went well.
Stand up routine for a works do Page 4
Coolio!
Another new gig so experimenting with new stuff
I think the news of the world phone tapping has got of control, I mean they just don't care anymore.
They'll tap anyone.
How do I know?
I've got the new News of the World ipad edition.
Yes it's on ipads now and they really get the technology. You turn it on with your nose and change the pages with your tongue. Boy do they know their readership.
(MIMES HOLDING IPAD UPTO NOSE AND HANGING TONGUE OUT LIKE A MORON)
Any way I smelt a rat when I saw the adverts. Flowers for forgetting to phone your mum, a new take away called the Kebizza harnessing the power of kebab and pizza and the 3rd advert was for Dignitas's new service for rubbish standup comics. It's a cushion with a cyanide filled syringe hidden inside it.
That way when you're going to die on your ass.
Why would all their ads be offering me just what I need?
The final insult was being a digital version they could include my perfect page3.
Turns out it's Sara Palin, dressed as a topless Liono-o apparently laughing at some dreadful standup.
Now who else is that going to turn on?
I don't quite understand why they spend so much on private detectives? Wouldn't it just be cheaper to murder school girls and then interview them selves.
And cut out the middle man.
Are there any video's of your stand up?
You should video your new material for us prior to performing it!
I am videoing this show, but I wanna see how this sells on paper first
Quote: sootyj @ July 6 2011, 8:22 PM BSTYes it's on ipads now and they really get the technology. You turn it on with your nose and change the pages with your tongue. Boy do they know their readership.
(MIMES HOLDING IPAD UPTO NOSE AND HANGING TONGUE OUT LIKE A MORON)
You need to cut that bit from there as it's getting between the set up and the explanation. It confuses what the joke you're making is.
Practical advice, thanks will apply
Hmmm, seems a tad darker than last time! To be honest, I think a lot of your posts on here are funnier, but I guess they're designed to be read rather than performed, and it'd be difficult to tell how funny they'd be as part of a stand up act without seeing how you'd deliver those jokes.
Yeh it's a bit rough. I'll reedit.
Is it another work gig?
Why do you do so few gigs Sooty? You live in London, you could be doing it all the time.
It's a cushion with a cyanide filled syringe hidden inside it. That way when you're going to die on your ass.
That was the funniest bit although it don't read quite well, is there a word or two missing..?
I am both lazy and shy.
And not very funny.
I did a bunch in Hull funnily enough. I did a one hour show with Ivor Dembina got as many laughs and it reinvigorated my confidence.
Quote: sootyj @ July 6 2011, 9:53 PM BSTI am both lazy and shy.
And not very funny.
Well the more you gig, the better you get. Hopefully. Either quit, or go all in!
Aha, had an idea. Maybe try making the advert part more personal. Example:
'Ooh, (Enter Sootyj's real name) could you possibly need some flowers for forgetting your mother's birthday? And maybe some form of counselling after watching a certain video?'
I dunno, could work.