Trick of the eye Page 2

Interior of a police station
A police constable walks up to the desk in an excited manner and shouts to his sergeant.

"Sarge sarge, we got a breakthrough"

Sergeant
"Calm down son, what break through?"

Constable
The man in the hat, I have just arrested a drunk postman for indecent exposure"

Sergeant
"Prat the postman up to his old tricks is he?"

Constable
"Yes sarge he got his lad out by Tescos"

Sergeant
"Whats that got to do with chummy in the hat?"

Constable
"Everything, look at this envelope, it was in Prats bag"

Constable holds up a large envelope addressed to
The Man in the Top Hat & Cloak
78 Dunstable Gardens
Dunstable
LU 3AB

Constable
"It's got to be him sarge, the return address is Magicians Monthly, I checked with them and he's the only subscriber in the town.

Sarge
"I knew he'd slip up, good work son come on let's go and play a trick of our own"

Night Time a load of police officers are outside a house crouching behind parked cars.

Suddenly a man in a top hat and pyjamas appears at a lit window and draws the curtains.

Constable
"It's him sarge, we've got him"

Sarge
"Caught in his own lair! I told you the cocky ones always slip up. Right on my command we go right through the front door no messing around and I want him double cuffed hands and feet!"

The police officers run up the garden path and smash right through the front door of the house.

As they go through it they come out on the hard shoulder of the M1. Behind them they can see that the building is in fact a facade of a house.

Constable
"He's got away again hasn't he sarge?"

Sarge
"Yes son he has and I have to say this is getting f**king weird!"

A large room full of police officers talking amongst themselves in standard briefing scene.
The door opens and an inspector walks in accompanied by a man in a top hat, cloak and red waistcoat.

All the cops react by flicking open their telescopic batons and moving toward the man.

The Inspector quickly raises both hands as he speaks.

INSPECTOR
"Relax lads; this is a Home Office magician. He's been brought in to help us catch chummy."

Batons are withdrawn but uneasy murmuring remains.

The Home Office magician takes off his cloak and puts on a black stab vest that has the logo H.O.M in large white letters on it, he then turns a chair the wrong way around in an informal manner and he speaks with a Dutch accent.

"Ok guys relax uh; I'm one of the good guys for sure ok. I'm here to help you catch the bad guy. I think the first thing to do ask you a few questions to gauge what level this guy is operating on"

Constable
"What do you mean what level he's on?"

H.O.M
"Most magicians that go maverick are level 2 or more dangerously in the early stage of level 3"

Constable
"How many levels is there sir?"

H.O.M
"3"

Constable
"Well I reckon our man's a 4"

H.O.M
(Laughs)
"Believe or not despite your zany joke, level 4 does actually exist, but it's purely theoretical"

Sergeant
"Who's joking? This bastard been disappearing before my lads eyes"

H.O.M
(Scoffs)
"Just because a puff of smoke goes up doesn't mean someone has disappeared, it's an old trick of disorientation don't worry about that"

Sergeant
"Chummy doesn't use smoke; he disappears right before your eyes!"

H.O.M
(Looks concerned and writes on pad)
"No smoke, just face to face you say? Well ok now we know he's definitely a level 3 and at quite an advanced stage. Because level 2's can only disappear under smoke"

Constable
(Shoots a hand up but lowers it slowly as he speaks)
Perhaps he's a level 2 but he's asthmatic so...........

Sergeant
"He has been getting out of reinforced boxes"

H.O.M
"So I understand, but don't worry about that we have sent those boxes to our laboratory"

Sergeant
"Our forensics team have already been all over them and drawn a blank!"

H.O.M
"With the greatest respect sergeant the laboratory I use is staffed by some of the foremost minds in the world of forensic magical analyses. I have worked with them for several years and have helped capture hundreds of maverick magician's"

A man in plain clothes who has been sitting on a table at the back of the room almost in the shadows speaks, as he does so all the other officers part, so that Home Office Magician can see him.

Plain Clothes Cop
"This ones different"

H.O.M
"I can assure you to the untrained eye, criminal magic can be very disorientating. Last year I had to visit an village in Albania were a magician had made the village church disappear and was demanding a 489 Euro ransom!. Of course once we established to the villagers that their church was still in fact there and then shown them how he did it, they all laughed.

Constable
"And what did he end up getting eh, probably probation?"

All the officers start murmuring their agreement

H.O.M
(Holds up hands to quell murmuring)
"Actually they hung him on the spot!
(Lets it sink in before continuing)
"In my experience people never respond well to being frightened by magic. The sad fact is most maverick magicians end up being killed by their victims, the statistics are shocking!"

Plainclothes Cop
"I'm sure they are, but I'm no Albanian villager and as a member of CID I am a trained observer"

H.O.M
(Scoffs)
"I'm sure a really switched on guy but........

The plain clothes officer take a flat cap covered in little moon and stars shapes out of his pocket and places it on his head as he speaks.

"I am also a level one/ early level 2 magician, and I'm telling you this guy is off the scale!"

Gasping and murmuring starts up again

H.O.M
(Holds up his hands in an appeal for calm)
"Relax guys, we know he's good, there's no denying it, however we also know he flaunts the fact and that's how we're going to catch him"

Sergeant
"We've tried that already! We've enticed him into loads of standard scenarios; he just completes the trick and then disappears!

H.O.M
"Well don't you have to worry too much; I can in fact assure that this time you guys will have the upper hand. And I guarantee you that the next time we will have this guy, no problem!

*Could I ask if this is working for anyone?

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ July 3 2011, 3:14 PM BST

*Could I ask if this is working for anyone?

View original

It's a bit long, it appears to be going nowhere. I like the idea of rogue magicians, and good-guy magicians, but you're not really doing much with it.

What I like about the magician is the fact that he doesn't speak, much like a stereotypical old style magician. In fact some of your earlier ones have been almost wordless apart from the "he's got away again Sarge" and they work. So I'd say if you can have minimal dialogue and still have a clear punchline it works for the better.

I've liked all of them except that last one. It didn't seem to be going anywhere.

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ July 3 2011, 3:14 PM BST

*Could I ask if this is working for anyone?

View original

Not really. It has a spark of fun, but got old quite quickly.

Thanks for the feedback, I will do the last installment next I was just trying to build up to it I suppose, cheers.

His last bow

The man in the top hat and cloak is carrying a box with a bow on ,as he steps into an empty gondola on the London Eye

Radio reports from all over the site.

"Charlie One, we have the embankment covered"

"Charlie Two the bridge is secure"

"Charlie three, I'm in the control booth, I'm moving the wheel"

"Charlie four we're inside Big Ben, if he makes a dive for the fingers he's nicked!"

The London Eye moves slowly transporting the Man in the top hat and cloak to the top, then the wheel stops dead.

A team of 20 men in balaclavas scale the wheel and a constable is climbing up behind them rather awkwardly.

The man in the Top Hat and Cloak is watching this unfold as he smokes a cigar at the window of the gondola.

The men reach the gondola and throw in thunder flashes.

The Constable reaches the gondola and reports.

"Sarge the only thing left here is a box; there's a little model inside of a man in a top hat and cloak"

Sarge
"Dam"

Constable
"Hold on, he's slipped up this time sarge the model has got a clear finger print on it"

Sarge
"But chummy wears white matinee gloves"

Constable
"He must take them off while he's modelling; he'd have to, this thing is really intricate it even has a moustache and a cane"

Sarge
"Good lad, keep tight hold of that I am organising a motorcade to get you to the lab, I'll call them as well and have forensics ready"

The constable is carrying the box tightly as he is whisked into a car with police motor cycle out riders and they all speed off.

Constable
" Charlie five, I'm at the lab, the box was empty when they opened it, it got away sarge."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well I give it a go, any chance of some feed back? Even if you don't like it or think you've seen it before, anything!
I feel like a red headed step kid with a limp, that's just been told its go nits. ome on this is the critique section, at least have a go!

I enjoyed the first pieces better, they were quick and to the point, the latter ones seem to be labouring somewhat...

I liked them all Teddy, if these were spread in amongst other sketches in a TV show they would work well because the premise repeats but the situations change which is usually the key to a reoccuring sketch.

The punch to the final episode was my favourite yet. It was an ace finale.

Having read them in installments and now just read the last act, I feel like I've actually watched them, as if this is something which actually exists (if you know what I mean)

Anyway, good one kidder.

Thanks for that Jack, sometimes its hard to work out if my stuff is actually being viewed as I don't get much feedback in comparison to more established members.

I think if they put up the number of people viewing the post instead of just those that reply, then everyone would have an idea if they are creating an interest with a given series of sketches.

I know a lot of viewers don't feel every post requires a response and some may bite their tongue because what I put up is crap,that's quite decent stance.

But as it is a critique section I think the viewing numbers would give you a decent insight and take the onus of the poster who wants to view without feeling the need to reply, a thumbs up or down option would also be a great help.

Just done reading the final couple and for me the whole series works. I was able to get into it to the extent I was looking forward to seeing what would happen in the end, a good sign I'd say. While I thought it clever that the minature magician got away, I think there could be a better more satisfying finale, don't know what, but maybe the magician being revealed in some way.
Very enjoyable though all the way through.