British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 404

Quote: sootyj @ July 1 2011, 10:32 AM BST

Do you ever get the impression God or relevant Aborigine deity just doesn't want you in Australia?

No. But mice, rabbits and foxes, all introduced by the British, are not wanted.

Quote: chipolata @ July 1 2011, 9:37 AM BST

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/dsk-sex-assault-case-near-collapse-043146637.html

Quite a turnaround.

Once the case is dropped, he'll no doubt sue heavily for having his career ruined, and he could get millions. While he has good cause for this, is the head of the IMF really supposed to go around (consensually) shagging chambermaids? I actually sneakily admire the extremely laid back attitude the French have towards sexual liasons and affairs. More modern states run by liberals and women (of which the US is now one) really don't see eye to eye with them on this though, do they! :D

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ July 1 2011, 10:43 AM BST

Once the case is dropped, he'll no doubt sue heavily for having his career ruined, and he could get millions. While he has good cause for this, is the head of the IMF really supposed to go around (consensually) shagging chambermaids? I actually sneakily admire the extremely laid back attitude the French have towards sexual liasons and affairs. More modern states run by liberals and women (of which the US is now one) really don't see eye to eye with them on this though, do they! :D

Word from France is that DSK was being propelled to the French presidency by his ambitious wife - and he was not keen on this as he preferred banking and attending shagging parties, thus he contrived to have his career derailed by scandal so that he would not have to be president.

Quote: sootyj @ July 1 2011, 10:19 AM BST

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2009518/Carolyn-Bourne-Mother-law-hell-sends-email-bride-Heidi-Withers.html

Hyacinth Bouqet lives!

Good thing she didn't catch her son sneaking into her back pantry.

Ghastly woman. Saw a commentary on this which I think nailed it. She was herself a trophy second wife. She is now terrified that the son has found a life partner and the consequence thereof will be grandchildren, who will get the money.

One point that doesn't always come out in the bride is diabetic, which could well explain why she didn't wait to be asked to eat or go back for seconds. Which would you prefer? Pissed off old harridan because etiquette may have been breached or a diabetic coma because the blood sugar has crashed? Having had to grab the car keys on occasions from a good friend who didn't quite get their insulin dose right, its easily done.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ July 1 2011, 10:43 AM BST

Once the case is dropped, he'll no doubt sue heavily for having his career ruined, and he could get millions. While he has good cause for this, is the head of the IMF really supposed to go around (consensually) shagging chambermaids? I actually sneakily admire the extremely laid back attitude the French have towards sexual liasons and affairs. More modern states run by liberals and women (of which the US is now one) really don't see eye to eye with them on this though, do they! :D

Barrack's had a sex change? When?

Quote: Kenneth @ July 1 2011, 10:39 AM BST

No. But mice, rabbits and foxes, all introduced by the British, are not wanted.

Weren't Australians introduced by the British too?

Quote: zooo @ July 1 2011, 1:23 PM BST

Weren't Australians introduced by the British too?

No, they came from Chad in dodgem cars.

This has been going around Twitter with many people claiming it to be the sickiest newspaper headline in years.

http://twitpic.com/5ji0ru

EDIT: Seems that the Mirror and Telegraph have also picked up the story, but unlike the Mail they didn't actually blame the teachers.

http://themediablog.typepad.com/the-media-blog/2011/07/daily-mail-strike-action.html

The Los Angeles school district has decided that homework is racist and will only allow it to make up 10% of a student's grade. What a great life lesson to teach young adults.

I think they'll find that this ridiculous policy will harm the poorly performing students in the long run.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-homework-20110627,0,2416846,full.story

Quote: DaButt @ July 2 2011, 5:25 PM BST

The Los Angeles school district has decided that homework is racist and will only allow it to make up 10% of a student's grade. What a great life lesson to teach young adults.

I think they'll find that this ridiculous policy will harm the poorly performing students in the long run.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-homework-20110627,0,2416846,full.story

That's as depressing as it's crazy.

Kids who can't do homework due to poverty need help and support.

Ruining everyone elses education is unfair and will chase any parents with money into private schools

Just read a bit more of that US paper . . Is it just me or does this scare the sh*t out you?

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2011/07/stowaway-suspect-noibi.html

meh people walk on planes at Heathrow from holes in the fence.

This is quite scary

Pakistan yesterday came under increased pressure over its nuclear arsenal when a Harvard study warned of "a very real possibility" that its warheads could be stolen by terrorists.
The rising concern about poorly-guarded nuclear weapons and material was the subject of an extraordinary two-day summit which began in Washington yesterday. Last night, Ukraine became the latest country to volunteer to give up its stores of highly enriched uranium (HEU), which can be used in weapons, and switch its research reactors to low-enriched uranium.
There was still considerable anxiety at the Nuclear Security Summit over the safety of more than 2,000 tons more HEU and weapons-grade plutonium stored in 40 countries. There were also persistent doubts over the security of Pakistan's nuclear weapons.
Pakistan's prime minister, Yousaf Raza Gilani, assured Barack Obama the country has an "appropriate safeguard" for its arsenal, understood to consist of 70-90 nuclear weapons.
However, a report by Harvard University's Belfer Centre for Science and International Affairs, titled Securing the Bomb 2010, said Pakistan's stockpile "faces a greater threat from Islamic extremists seeking nuclear weapons than any other nuclear stockpile on earth".

Quote: lofthouse @ July 2 2011, 9:23 PM BST

This is quite scary

I'd reckon that part of the billions in aid that we've given Pakistan have been spent on securing their nukes. I'd also reckon that we have plans for moving in and snatching their bombs in the event of a crisis. (Such plans may include nuking their nukes.)

http://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Bazaar-Rise-Nuclear-Poor/dp/0374106789

that book should brown your trousers, oh and it's got a lot worse since then. Alot worse.

AQ Kahn the father of the nuclear Pakistan nuclear industry sold the technology to anyone who could meet his modest costs. Nobody actually knows how many, and his government aren't asking.

North Korea got caught building a secret nuclear reactor in Syria and really don't seem to give a shit.

The only real defence is preventing terrorist organisations becoming sufficently wealthy and organised to obtain them.

Quote: DaButt @ July 3 2011, 4:06 AM BST

I'd reckon that part of the billions in aid that we've given Pakistan have been spent on securing their nukes. I'd also reckon that we have plans for moving in and snatching their bombs in the event if a crisis. (Such plans may include biking their nukes.)

Pakistan is complying less and less with it's allies. It's standard practise for nuclear powers to distribute their nuclear weapons as widely as possible.

Possibly even sticking some on submarines.

Nukes on subs would make it easier for them to be destroyed.

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