Hi there
I have always been keen to try stand up but not to the point of actually standing in front of a crowd and doing it...
So I have created a YouTube animation, using a character and my voice for the stand-up.
This is my first attempt and would really appreciate any kind of feedback.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaZq33Uva1s
Thanks in advance
Not a good routine. I understand the book confusion, as it irritates me as well, but the actual content is, at best, mildly amusing.
Best thing you can do is go out and do an open mic night. Your delivery may change for the better with an audience.
This is not a good way to judge material, really.
Thanks for watching and for the advise 
I liked the animation, I'm gonna check that out myself...
The routine was not very appealing though, I didn't really find it amusing at all...
And your voice..! Sorry, but it was way too flat and monotonous, at one time it sounded like it was being read by one of those speech/text things you get on your computer...
Keep at it though...
I actually thought the delivery was very good, the timing was great. I do agree that the material was a little thin, and the ending lacked punch, but I think you have the basis of a good routine here--you just need to think of ways to take the thought further.
Wanting to do standup without wanting to face a crowd is like wanting to be a prostitute but not wanting to look at penises.
Quote: sootyj @ July 1 2011, 12:38 PM BSTWanting to do standup without wanting to face a crowd is like wanting to be a prostitute but not wanting to look at penises.
That's a good tip, try it again with your penis hanging out...
I like the timing and delivery the material could be developed by giving a little more description of why each book is a best seller or why the blurb on the dust jacket says it is a best seller with the claims get wilder and crazier with each book.
thanks for all the tips and valuable input, will consider all that has been said.
As for the not wanting to face a crowd remark: maybe my wording in the original post was incorrect, I don't believe I would ever make a good stand up nor do I want to pursue being a stand up. However, I have always liked the idea of it and with the technology available to us (like YouTube and these animation programs etc) we all have the ability to give things a go that we normally wouldnt be able to do.
Some people really like the idea of being a pilot but know they never will become one,that's why they play microsoft's flight simulator instead. Same principle I guess.
I shall continue to make these animation comedy clips, not because they good but because I enjoy making them. If it makes just one person laugh, then its been worthwhile. Of course, I would like to make them as good as I possibly can (and as funny as possible) which is why I asked for critique and feedback.
I appreciate all the help thus far.
Standup Sim v23.1
Now featuring; forgetting your material, drunken scary heckler, giggling hen night, pissing your pants.
For Windows
Quote: MankweProductions @ July 1 2011, 2:47 PM BSTthanks for all the tips and valuable input, will consider all that has been said.
As for the not wanting to face a crowd remark: maybe my wording in the original post was incorrect, I don't believe I would ever make a good stand up nor do I want to pursue being a stand up. However, I have always liked the idea of it and with the technology available to us (like YouTube and these animation programs etc) we all have the ability to give things a go that we normally wouldnt be able to do.
Some people really like the idea of being a pilot but know they never will become one,that's why they play microsoft's flight simulator instead. Same principle I guess.
I shall continue to make these animation comedy clips, not because they good but because I enjoy making them. If it makes just one person laugh, then its been worthwhile. Of course, I would like to make them as good as I possibly can (and as funny as possible) which is why I asked for critique and feedback.
I appreciate all the help thus far.
Just a suggestion but if it's critique you're looking for then you'd be better off posting your work in the 'Critique' part of the forum instead of the 'Showcase'...
Quote: RedZed333 @ July 1 2011, 8:44 PM BSTJust a suggestion but if it's critique you're looking for then you'd be better off posting your work in the 'Critique' part of the forum instead of the 'Showcase'...
indeed, I shall do that next time - thx