Your Favourite Quick One Liners? Page 4

Now I'm not saying I've never heard of vaseline substitutes, but I always thought that Lemon Curd was a middle-eastern blues guitarist..

I got a job on the Space Shuttle.. brought me back down to earth, I can tell you..

When my parents threw away all my toys, I realised that I was losing my marbles..

.. but it was the game of leapfrog with U2 that took me over the Edge..

Quote: Oldrocker @ June 28 2011, 12:39 AM BST

I don't get that.

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When you pronouce it it sounds like "Whoopi Doopidoo"

It generally goes with the "if Beyonce married Roy Castle, would she become Beyonce Castle" and "if Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing"...

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ June 28 2011, 10:46 AM BST

Now I'm not saying I've never heard of vaseline substitutes, but I always thought that Lemon Curd was a middle-eastern blues guitarist..

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I don't get this one, am I being thick?

I've had an idea for my frustrated pet donkey.. it just came over me..

I wouldn't go to Starbucks for all the tea in China..

There are two types of comedian: those who never get their punchlines mixed-up, and tooth hurtee..

BTW Mr Cowards: curd/kurd..

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ June 28 2011, 11:05 AM BST

I've had an idea for my frustrated pet donkey.. it just came over me..

I wouldn't go to Starbucks for all the tea in China..

There are two types of comedian: those who never get their punchlines mixed-up, and tooth hurtee..

BTW Mr Cowards: curd/kurd..

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Okay, but why would anyone use Lemon Curd as a "vaseline substitute"?

These all seem to be slightly confused jokes, in that the set ups are too contrived and don't really belong with the punchlines, for instance why in the first joke above is it a donkey? Donkey has no relevance to the punchline so it's just confusing.

Starbucks are famous for coffee so "for all the tea in China" doesn't really work (or am I just being pedantic?).

Quote: Tony Cowards @ June 28 2011, 11:25 AM BST

Okay, but why would anyone use Lemon Curd as a "vaseline substitute"?

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Quote: Tony Cowards @ June 28 2011, 11:25 AM BST

..for instance why in the first joke above is it a donkey? Donkey has no relevance to the punchline so it's just confusing.

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<holds head in hands in despair>

Quote: Tony Cowards @ June 28 2011, 11:25 AM BST

Starbucks are famous for coffee so "for all the tea in China" doesn't really work..

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They are quite good questions Stylee. I see where you are going with the last.... but!

Quote: Tony Cowards @ June 28 2011, 10:59 AM BST

When you pronouce it it sounds like "Whoopi Doopidoo"

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Oh.

If you pronounce it incorrectly, that is.

William Shakespeare walks into a bar, The landlord says "Oi get out, you're Bard".

I love a line from one of the bottom live shows

Eddie : "do my ears deceive me?!"

Richie : "why? are they telling you that you DONT smell like Nelly the Elephants fanny?"