Now that you are married David do people call you Mister Busslell?
Best spam Page 2
Quote: Marc P @ June 17 2011, 9:47 AM BSTNow that you are married David do people call you Mister Busslell?
We combined our surnames. The name's Mussell now. The question is, do you Love Mussell?
Only if it's Morston.
Quote: David Bussell @ June 17 2011, 9:46 AM BSTIt was a subtle joke at the fact that they've included the name of their club just about every line.
As for my marriage, I fear I'm approaching the seven inch itch.
There's a cream you can get for that.
Quote: Shandonbelle @ January 27 2011, 10:37 PM BSTHave learned not to open the things, but one of my fav books is about a real life scambaiter who answers the emails he recieves and leads them on a wild goose chase, loads of really funny ones in there...
This is the best site around for all things scambaiting. If you feel like joining in the fun, join the forum and get involved 
A word of warning though... It can be quite addictive 
What a nice chap but I honestly can't recall the situation he refers to.
Dear Beneficiary,
I read your contract payment file with great pain and tears following all you had to go through without success in the release of your fund.I work directly with Auditor General,Federal Republic of Nigeria.It was in the course of carrying out my primary duty as the personal assistance to Auditor General, why arranging contractors payment file that I saw your file and I was moved realizing the trauma you must have gone through concerning your inheritance,so out of compassion I quickly went to report your predicament to my boss who said I should write you immediately.He stated categorically,that if you are alive ,we should process your payment within 48hours.You are hereby advise to get back to us quickly.
Regards
Mr.Larry Chukwuemeka
Larry seems an odd first name for a Mr Chukwuemeka.
What should you do if you're not alive?
Quote: Chappers @ June 27 2011, 10:00 PM BSTWhat should you do if you're not alive?
email them back with the banking details of my estate of course!
Phhh, do you know nothing about ethereal transactions?
I used to receive about 5 good Spams a day- that all seems to have dried up though now I installed a plugin on word press. I kind of miss it. Anyway - heres a good-one I had: Its as if someone took a story Written in German, converted it to Mandarin, then to French, then finally into english. Theres a story in there somewhere if you can read between the wrong lines..
Brighton gasped told grinning replica a vast handbag more where him spun an original pale than impertinent eyebrows. Replica blinked the designer..
(by the way it's quite long, so the rest is here: http://tinyurl.com/43p8jhq )
Not quite spam - but mis-translation of English from Japanese.
I had to install a photo-cell sensor at work so I read the instructions before I commenced.
One part that I always remember that was in the trouble-shooting section
If sensor fail to work, be sure to check for shit on the lense
When she had recovered that precious ring, as we have before related, Angelica, knowing its value, felt proud in the power it conferred, travelled alone without fear, not without a secret shame that she had ever been obliged to seek protection in her wanderings of the Count Orlando and of Sacripant. She reproached herself too as with a weakness that she had ever thought of marrying Rinaldo; in fine, her pride grew so high as to persuade her that no man living was worthy to aspire to her hand. Moved with pity at the sight of the young man wounded, and melted to tears at hearing the cause, she quickly recalled to remembrance the knowledge she had acquired in India, where the virtues of plants and the art of healing formed part of the education even of princesses. The beautiful queen ran into the adjoining meadow to gather plants of virtue to staunch the flow of blood. Meeting on her way a countryman on
they keep me under the guard of this woman, until it shall suit their convenience to carry me away." Isabella had hardly finished her recital when a troop of armed men began to enter the cavern. Seeing the prince Orlando, one said to the rest, "What bird is this we have caught, without even setting a snare for him?" Then addressing Orlando, "It was truly civil in you, friend, to come hither with that handsome coat of armor and vest, the very things I want." "You shall pay for them, then," said Orlando; and seizing a half-burnt brand from the fire, he hurled it at him, striking his head, and stretching him lifeless on the floor. There was a massy table in the middle of the cavern, used for the pirates' repasts. Orlando lifted it and hurled it at the robbers as they stood clustered in a group toward the entrance. Half the gang were
course to pursue. He was directed to raise the stone which served as a threshold, under which a spirit lay pent, who would willingly escape, and leave the castle free of access. Astolpho applied his strength to lift aside the stone. Thereupon the magician put his arts in force. The castle was full of prisoners, and the magician caused that to all of them Astolpho should appear in some false guise--to some a wild beast, to others a giant, to others a bird of prey. Thus all assailed him, and would quickly have made an end of him, if he had not bethought him of his horn. No sooner had he blown a blast than, at the horrid larum, fled the cavaliers and the necromancer with them, like a flock of pigeons at the sound of the fowler's gun. Astolpho then renewed his efforts on the stone, and turned it over. The under face was all inscribed with magical characters, which the knight defaced, as directed by his book; and no sooner had he done so, than the castle, with its walls and turrets, vanished into smoke.
Marseilles, and she held the post against the infidels with valor and discretion. One day Melissa suddenly presented herself before her. Anticipating her questions, she said, "Fear not for Rogero; he lives, and is as ever true to you; but he has lost his liberty. The fell enchanter has again succeeded in making him a prisoner. If you would deliver him, mount your horse and follow me." She told her in what manner Atlantes had deceived Rogero, in deluding his eyes with the phantom of herself in peril. "Such," she continued, "will be his arts in your own case, if you penetrate the forest and approach that castle. You will think you behold Rogero, when, in fact, you see only the enchanter himself. Be not deceived, plunge your sword into his body, and trust me when I tell you that, in slaying him, you will restore not only Rogero, but with him many of the bravest knights of France, whom the wizard's arts have withdrawn from the camp of their sovereign."
Pinabel, the son of Count Anselm, had been treacherously slain. At these words the prisoner exclaimed, "I am no murderer, nor have I been in any way the cause of the young man's death." Orlando, knowing the cruel and ferocious character of the chiefs of the house of Maganza, needed no more to satisfy him that the youth was the victim of injustice. He commanded the leader of the troop to release his victim, and, receiving an insolent reply, dashed him to the earth with a stroke of his lance; then by a few vigorous blows dispersed the band, leaving deadly marks on those who were slowest to quit the field. Orlando then hastened to unbind the prisoner, and to assist him to reclothe himself in his armor, which the false Magencian had dared to assume. He then led him to Isabella, who now approached the scene of action. How can we picture the joy, the astonishment, with which Isabella recognized in him Zerbino, her husband, and the prince