This voting process was almost as difficult as writing the script, and it feels odd for a no-hoper like me to be making judgements on the work of other writers. I've tried to look for the positives, to bear in mind the brief, and to ask myself if I could see these scripts being performed live at the Lass O'Gowrie.
"3 Bitches" MAYBE
Good gag rate, nicely written, and good to see three female characters carry the whole thing, but this kind of Ladette comedy doesn't engage me, sorry. I can, however, see the audience reacting favourably.
"Agent of Chaos" NO
Rod is clearly a character that's been developed, and there's a vague semblance of a plot, but it felt a bit slapdash and first draft, sorry to say.
"Amateurs" MAYBE
Nicely written - has a gently macabre tone which is appealing. But I couldn't see a series in this because it's more like a short play.
"And it's Life and Life Only" MAYBE
Some good jokes ("By 'seduce', I assume you mean 'terrorize'?" / "It's a thin line."), but all the characters sound the same, I've seen this thing a million times (most recently "The Inbetweeners"), and nothing especially interesting happens. Also, where's the cliffhanger/resolution?
"An Ex-Rated Date" NO
The QI/peanut stuff is good, and relationship sitcoms certainly have an audience. But there's no unique thing about this, no twist on an old format.
"Analysts" YES
Terrific structure, well-defined and interesting characters, lots of action and gags, very good use of a live theatre environment. Just cut the last line, because it's insufferable.
"Apocalypse John" MAYBE
A Zombie rom-com (perhaps riding the "Shaun of the Dead" wave) could certainly work. John and Gilbert are a good double-act. Nice cliffhanger. Just seemed to lack a bit of sparkle.
"As Sick as a Parrott" YES
I found this rather charming and amusing. Characters were engaging and distinctive, and the jokes were funny. Easy to see this as a series. Good stuff.
"Bi-Polar" MAYBE
"In the snow? Alone? With the penguins so restless?" Lovely idea for a sitcom, and I liked the banter between Inigo and Doug. But not much really happens, and it felt a bit rambling and overlength.
"Broken Records" NO
It perks up when the robbery happens, but immediately peters out again. Sitcom Trials brief says only 4 characters - this has 5. But there's potential here, and I wouldn't mind reading more episodes to see where they go.
"Caroline, R.I.P" NO
Quirky, a few cute lines and a good cliffhanger, but this seemed to me to have no "sit" and very little "com". Oddly, I could see this working as a short, low budget film.
"Checkpoint Dave" - YES
'Cause I wrote it.
"Cometh the Padre" NO
Very wordy and difficult to read. Also :"He strips off his clothes, shoves them in a bucket and sets them alight"? Impossible to stage, fails to meet the brief. However, there's some good lines and characterization.
"Dead Healthy" NO
Far too many short scenes and you've got a poor actor who has to play a corpse through the whole thing. Plus, it seems overlength.
"Environmentally Friendly" NO
Some nicely surreal pop culture gags, but the plot doesn't kick in until page 9 (when we should have already had a cliffhanger) and doesn't develop.
"Footlights" MAYBE
A bit post-modern, odd mix of the surreal and the crude, not sure if this works as a sitcom, but plenty of chuztpah.
"Four In A Gym" NO
Really long dialogue paragraphs, characters didn't leap from the page, it's too long.
"God Complex" MAYBE
Loved the weary and absent-minded God and Miss Goodbody, the takes-no-shit secretary. However, it does feel to be very long, not sure if it could be staged in 10 mins.
"Hardcow" MAYBE
More ladette stuff - not my thing at all, sorry - and a bit repetitive. What works, though, is the energy and punch of the writing, which could translate into strong performances, and carry the thing live.
"Highway to Hell" NO
I didn't buy into the rock musician characters, and it all felt a bit muddled and toothless. Nice idea for a sitcom, and the female characters are well drawn.
"Keith Lymingstone-Brown" YES
Exposition heavy beginning (which felt like a deliberate choice) leads to a witty and entertaining story. Keith and Phil are good fun, and Mrs L-B is even better.
"Lightning" MAYBE
Interesting set-up, Charlie is well characterised, reads fast. Cliffhanger is a bit of a damp squib and a fourth character is introduced far too late in the game.
"Living With Danger" MAYBE
Impractical staging issues (a fridge?), nice back and forth between Eddie and Danger Boy. The SFX explosion is well timed. Was there a cliffhanger bit? I might have missed it.
"Lo-fi" NO
Clearly this is lifted from a much longer script (which I think might be an enjoyable read), but since it has no plot or cliffhanger it doesn't meet the brief.
"Mates Rates" MAYBE
Way too long for the brief, but I quite liked the characters and I can see a more punchier draft working on stage.
"Middling: The Gate" MAYBE
Nicely written, but a low gag rate, no spin on the usual relationship sitcom, and Rachel enters the story far too late (meaning if it doesn't get a second act, the actress will have had nothing to do).
"No Prospect" NO
"Dick, a blond haired camp cockney in his early thirties minces in". The tone feels a bit odd (is it high camp?) and the conversations about daytime TV don't really catch fire, so all in all I wasn't quite sure what to make of it, sorry.
"Not On a School Night" - NO
Too many scenes and characters, couldn't find a cliffhanger, and lots of talking about stuff that would be nice to actually see.
"Old Man" NO
Clearly a TV script (and a well-written one) that needed to be re-drafted for a 10 minute script-in-hand live performance.
"Outgoings" YES
Charmingly dark, with two good female characters and some nice dialogue exchanges. Easy to stage, funny, doesn't outstay its welcome.
"Privilege" YES
"Im sorry I have to interrupt. Mr Privilege is here today to explain why he killed a panda, not why he participated in election fraud." Heh! Liked this one a lot. Strong characters, great jokes, a good plot.
"Reasons To Be Cheerful" MAYBE
Very gentle and wistful, lacks laugh-out-loud moments, couldn't really tell if it's too long (it felt a bit rambling). The puns aren't my kind of thing, but might work for a live audience.
"Rock Bottom" NO
No idea what the series is about, rough first draft feel to it, but a few lines hit the mark and a second episode might be tighter and more focussed.
"Shit Happens" NO
Is this Derek and Clive? Very scatological, and the waitress is a terrible part for an actress. However, it did raise a laugh or two.
"Shock Treatment" YES
Lime is a vivid creation, cliffhanger is good. Very appealing in its own surreal way.
"Singing The Blues - It's a Blunderful Life" MAYBE
Nicely written, strong characters and a good plot - but is this a series? Also, will the ghost of Frank Capra sue?
"SuperFood" YES
Nice plot, zips along, good gag rate. Got a tiny bit confusing in places, but the characters are amiable and give the actors something to get their teeth into. I could certainly see this working as a series.
"The OAP Bus" NO
Could see this working as a short stage play, but it's simply not funny enough for a sitcom, and doesn't have series potential.
"The Oldham Chronicles" NO
Good title, but it's very sleight on plot, and the female character is just there to be leered at. Bit short, too.
"The Pinkie Device" NO
Couldn't get to grips with this one at all, sorry, though I did sense that it had a radio play vibe.
"Theatre of Dreams" YES
Pleasingly unorthodox and larger-than-life. Beatrix is a fabulous character, Sebastian isn't far behind. The ornate, theatrical language is very enjoyable and very fitting. The writer's voice is distinctive, which is always a good sign.
"There Must Be Someone Else" NO
This is one of the reasons why it doesn't work for me: "(Knock on the door. Jenny enters. Damon has stopped spinning. He is stares at Jenny. He sticks his tongue out of the mask and slavers. He has his hand inside his large overcoat and is clearly pleasuring himself whilst moaning and gurgling.)" I just couldn't see any of that working on stage, I'm sorry to say.
"Treading Water" NO
Nothing really happens in this, and I'm sorry to say I lost interest because I think it needs to start with some action which propels the plot forward.
"University of Life" NO
These students lack spark, and there's too much sitting around chatting, but I liked a few of the dialogue exchanges.
"Urban Guerillas" MAYBE
I liked the idea, and the plot, but the cliffhanger comes in far too late and I'm not sure the whole thing could be staged in ten minutes.
