Quote: swerytd @ June 23 2011, 1:27 PM BSTI haven't put a single tree in my script. I feel like such a fool...
Dan
My friend had a bonsai business he was so successful with it he had to move to smaller premises.
Sitcom Trials Manchester 2011 - scripts invited Page 19
Your 'philosopher' friend would have made that funnier...
Dan
Quote: bushbaby @ June 23 2011, 1:22 PM BSTIt gets confusing, eh? Well, it is becoming confusing to me
Bob out of interest, why don't you write the beginning of the sitcom where Elsie falls and see where it takes you. I don't mean rewrite the whole thing, just see how it fares/progresses differently to the original one. I meant just as an exercise, then put it up on the critique forum
But that wouldn't work, Bob is such a selfish bastard (played dominoes instead of helping Elsie, went for a kebab instead of getting through to the hospital, went for his pissole and chips instead of going to the hospital, refused to pay Ted his tenner despite having a hundred and fifty quid off the bingo), he didn't know or care where Elsie was until he got the phone call from the hospital telling him Elsie had 'gone'...
It was only then he starts to pine after the loss of his beloved Elsie, although in reality he's only upset because he realises his got to do everything for himself from now on, or so he thinks...
If I'd shown Bob pining from the start then the audience wouldn't have understood Elsie showing up and bashing him one at the end. Bob had start off as a twat, get some sympathy through the confusion of the 'muddle' and into the clffhanger, then finally get his comeuppance via the twisty bit of the third act when Elsie shows up.
The protagonist doesn't always come out on top..!
Quote: RedZed333 @ June 23 2011, 1:46 PM BSTBut that wouldn't work, Bob is such a selfish bastard (played dominoes instead of helping Elsie, went for a kebab instead of getting through to the hospital, went for his pissole and chips instead of going to the hospital, refused to pay Ted his tenner despite having a hundred and fifty quid off the bingo), he didn't know or care where Elsie was until he got the phone call from the hospital telling him Elsie had 'gone'...
It was only then he starts to pine after the loss of his beloved Elsie, although in reality he's only upset because he realises his got to do everything for himself from now on, or so he thinks...
If I'd shown Bob pining from the start then the audience wouldn't have understood Elsie showing up and bashing him one at the end. Bob had start off as a twat, get some sympathy through the confusion of the 'muddle' and into the clffhanger, then finally get his comeuppance via the twisty bit of the third act when Elsie shows up.
The protagonist doesn't always come out on top..!
I see 
but he didn't need to be paying all that much attention to her at the point she fell etc. But it was just that I'd love to have read it rewritten but that's a lot of work
Quote: bushbaby @ June 22 2011, 11:20 PM BSTAnd Penge particularly is always having a go at me for mentioning a beginning/middle/end. maybe he doesn't bother to write in that manner. Who knows? I'm sick of him pointing it out to me so touche.
Woah woah woah there! I'm 'always' having a go at you? Bit harsh methinks, I don't recall having a go at you previously. I appreciate that might have been the red wine typing rather than the true BB, so I'll let it pass.
Quote: Badge @ June 23 2011, 12:32 AM BSTMy guess is it's the "muddle" rather than the "middle" that's annoying him. Every story needs a beginning, middle and end.
Bingo. It's the word 'muddle' that grates on my nerves. Middle middle middle, lovely middle, where I'm stuck with you.
Quote: Penge @ June 23 2011, 3:36 PM BSTWoah woah woah there! I'm 'always' having a go at you? Bit harsh methinks, I don't recall having a go at you previously. I appreciate that might have been the red wine typing rather than the true BB, so I'll let it pass.
Bingo. It's the word 'muddle' that grates on my nerves. Middle middle middle, lovely middle, where I'm stuck with you.
Yes was probably the red wine but there is someone on here that always 'slags' me off for the saying; which incidentally isn't mine. I think it's somewhere on Robin Kelly's site.....begin/muddle/end etc
I think it is just a play on words again BB that doesn't really help anybody, what is needed is an understanding of what constitutes a beginning, what constitutes a middle or muddle if you must, what constitutes an end and how they are all connected. Reducing socrates et all to a simple silly phrase doesn't help one construct a narrative. Not having a go at you here... just the twonk who coined it. Probably David Renwick or someone lol.
I hope other people vote and review as so far this forum is turning into a jeremy kyle show, I have read and reviewed 16 so far and hope to complete all the scripts and post all reviews and votes in one post by Saturday at the latest.
and remember people the best prize in writing is having a script you produced that your proud of.
I know you wouldn't have a 'go' at me. This is all just a grown up debate
I'll be casting my votes on saturday.
Quote: swerytd @ June 23 2011, 11:18 AM BSTNo, if a NO cancelled out a YES the total would be zero, not positive. Isn't that how cancelling out works?
If not, I massively wasted four years doing a maths degree...
It's neither here nor there, to be honest. Just a silly joke.
<laughs to self. Alone>
Dan
Though I'm sure I'm about to read someone else making this point for me, I said that a Yes vote "overturned" a No vote. A Maybe would only cancel it out, as you say.
Now why are you arguing and not reading, reviewing and voting?
Quote: cedardude @ June 23 2011, 3:51 PM BSTI hope other people vote and review as so far this forum is turning into a jeremy kyle show,...
Hear hear. I don't believe this bloody group. I get 5 minutes at my computer in the middle of a busy busy time (literally no time to read the rest of the scripts I haven't voted on yet) and I'm delighted to find nearly 4 pages of replies since I left. Oh good, I think, there's lots of votes. These people are participating, supporting their fellow writers, having a say, joining in the fun process. Instead they're wittering, whingeing, and talking twaddle. And criticising my maths for Christs sake (which was, as someone else spotted, quite right to begin with, so there's two pointless posts you wasted your life writing and I wasted my life reading!)
Marc P, have you read and reviewed as many of the scripts as you can tolerate? Swerytd, have we had yours in? Bushbaby, you are allowed to redress the balance by making observations on as many scripts as you can.
Please everyone, your votes will really make a difference in this process. Unless you'd like it all to be decided my me? What a rotten system that would be!
Kev F
Scripts are at: http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/SitsVac/files/
Ok, I'll read them all again.
Kev why don't you open a new thread for votes, posters that have already posted can copy and paste theirs to the new thread
Don't get your knickerst in a twist Kev. Your nagging reaction makes me less inclined to vote. On balance I still will but nobody owes anybody the commitment to vote. There are 40-odd scripts to read ffs. You said yourself you wanted votes in a bundle rather than dribs and drabs. I'm working my way through and will post when ready. Don't put others off by having a go at them.
Quote: bushbaby @ June 23 2011, 5:18 PM BSTOk, I'll read them all again.
Kev why don't you open a new thread for votes, posters that have already posted can copy and paste theirs to the new thread
Or why don't we make this the voting thread? That's the only important thing to be discussed under the heading of Sitcom Trials Manchester that I can think of!
Cheers BB, and sorry for singling you out. Would really welcome your votes. So far you've given one YES to Singing The Blues but the rest have had no votes, so no score. I look forward to as many as you can do (and by the way, everyone, I do know how onerous a task it is to read all the scripts. That's why I invented this method, ten years ago, so I'd never again have to read all the dross. Back then other people were more than happy to save me the bother, oh happy days).
Kev F
Quote: Badge @ June 23 2011, 5:31 PM BSTDon't get your knickerst in a twist Kev. Your nagging reaction makes me less inclined to vote.
Forgive my rattiness. Last night, Socks gig in Harrogate. Then 90 min drive to hotel in Newark. Then up at 6.30 to get to school in Bourne in Lincs. Just finished there, then back to hotel in Newark, from where in a second I need to leave to get to Harrogate for another Socks gig. Then back here to Newark. I'll be lucky to get 5 hours sleep before I have to set off to Bourne to do another school tomorrow (it's my Comic Art Masterclasses, long story), then home to Clevedon, near Bristol, on a Friday night, the Friday night when everyone is either going on summer holiday cos their school's broken up or going to Glastonbury or both and either way they'll be doing it on the roads to my house so the journey that would normally take at least 3 and a half hours will take a lot more.
Forgive me for temporarily losing my politeness down the back of the car seat. (And don't you dare use my nagging reaction as an excuse not to vote!!!!!!!!!!)
Kev F