Sitcom Trials Manchester 2011 - scripts invited Page 17

It means you must have a plot/premise with problems along the way and a resolution.
I like Robin Kelly he has a lot of good advice for comedy writing.
The entries for the trials IMO all have excellent dialogue/writing, but......

Quote: cedardude @ June 22 2011, 7:37 PM BST

delete email address and repost it, if this is your last go you should at least see it through to the end, you never know what could happen

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My email address wasn't on my script; it comes up automatically alongside the title on the Yahoo group page

Quote: swerytd @ June 23 2011, 9:37 AM BST

Kev's Maths skills -- NO.

Dan

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Maybe I'm thick but I think his maths skills are fine. If I get a No vote then that's one point subtracted, but if I get a Yes then I add two points, for a total of one point. The balance is positive. No? One Maybe cancels out one No.

Anyway, on that bombshell...

No, if a NO cancelled out a YES the total would be zero, not positive. Isn't that how cancelling out works?

If not, I massively wasted four years doing a maths degree...

It's neither here nor there, to be honest. Just a silly joke.

<laughs to self. Alone>

Dan

Does anyone fancy forming a coalition..? We could piss this..!

VOTE SHIT HAPPENS..!!!

Quote: RedZed333 @ June 23 2011, 11:20 AM BST

Does anyone fancy forming a coalition..? We could piss this..!

VOTE SHIT HAPPENS..!!!

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I did think Shit Happens very funny but just witty conversation and with a title like that, where would the next episodes take one? You couldn't have the same theme for ep 2......could you?

I'm afraid I only voted for Singing the Blues.
With my memory, I'd now have to read them all again to give a fair vote but I don't want to do that.

I'd like to give Swerytd a yes, for Outgoings too.

The above two are really the only ones that stick out in my mind but that's my own fault/age
I thought the vote would be just a click of a yes or no button on the Yahoo group site at the time you read each script [that's ideal for my age ] and was waiting for that to be set up.

Breaking news: The OAP Bus and Shit Happens have formed an alliance...

VOTE: The OAP Bus, Shit Happens...

It'll have you on the edge of your seat...

Quote: swerytd @ June 23 2011, 11:18 AM BST

No, if a NO cancelled out a YES the total would be zero, not positive. Isn't that how cancelling out works?

If not, I massively wasted four years doing a maths degree...

It's neither here nor there, to be honest. Just a silly joke.

<laughs to self. Alone>

Dan

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But he didn't say "cancelled out" he said "overturned", which is mathematically vague, I grant you. So perhaps we should be finding fault with the clarity of his written communication rather than his numerical skills.

In any case, this potential flame war stops right here.

Quote: swerytd @ June 23 2011, 11:18 AM BST

No, if a NO cancelled out a YES the total would be zero, not positive. Isn't that how cancelling out works?

If not, I massively wasted four years doing a maths degree...

It's neither here nor there, to be honest. Just a silly joke.

<laughs to self. Alone>

Dan

View original

Four years? Loser! I did mine in 3.

Quote: RedZed333 @ June 23 2011, 11:41 AM BST

Breaking news: The OAP Bus and Shit Happens have formed an alliance...

VOTE: The OAP Bus, Shit Happens...

It'll have you on the edge of your seat...

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Vote for The OAP Happens and Shit Bus? Gotcha.

Quote: Badge @ June 23 2011, 11:49 AM BST

Four years? Loser! I did mine in 3.

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Something doesn't add up here..!

Quote: bushbaby @ June 23 2011, 11:31 AM BST

I did think Shit Happens very funny but just witty conversation and with a title like that, where would the next episodes take one? You couldn't have the same theme for ep 2......could you?

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Believe me, after working in a nursing home for fifteen years old people and shit go hand in hand, often quite literally, the stories I could tell you, I bet could write shit for hours...

And I disagree with you about my masterpiece not following the 'The Three Act Structure'. It has a beginning, Bob, our protagonist, and Ted meet and discuss poor old Elsie's demise, the muddle is Elsie goes to hospital following her catheter bag splitting down at the Legion, although this is more of a puddle than a muddle, thus leaving our protagonist mistakenly thinking he is all alone in the world due to her untimely 'demise', (this was the well timed cliffhanger) which led to the ending where our protagonist is eventually reunited with his 'lost' Elsie, albeit by having seven buckets of shite knocked out of him in the cafe. Chuck in couple of clever 'set up' jokes to return to later, such as shitting in Bert's bed and paying for a new mattress, the heart tablets, pissole and chips, bingo money and the classic Ted and Maud Fowler bit and you've got a f**king masterpiece...

Four characters, two men, two women, one location, what more do you want..?

Maybe it's just the title that's putting people off, how about if I changed it to 'Not the Nine O'Clock Shit'..?

Nah, you take my word for it, shit sells, just look at Odd One In, it's almost an identical format..!!!

Sitcoms? I shit 'em...

VOTE SHIT HAPPENS..!!!

Quote: RedZed333 @ June 23 2011, 12:19 PM BST

Believe me, after working in a nursing home for fifteen years old people and shit go hand in hand, often quite literally, the stories I could tell you, I bet could write shit for hours...

And I disagree with you about my masterpiece not following the 'The Three Act Structure'. It has a beginning, Bob, our protagonist, and Ted meet and discuss poor old Elsie's demise, the muddle is Elsie goes to hospital following her catheter bag splitting down at the Legion, although this is more of a puddle than a muddle, thus leaving our protagonist mistakenly thinking he is all alone in the world due to her untimely 'demise', (this was the well timed cliffhanger) which led to the ending where our protagonist is eventually reunited with his 'lost' Elsie, albeit by having seven buckets of shite knocked out of him in the cafe. Chuck in couple of clever 'set up' jokes to return to later, such as shitting in Bert's bed and paying for a new mattress, the heart tablets, pissole and chips, bingo money and the classic Ted and Maud Fowler bit and you've got a f**king masterpiece...

Four characters, two men, two women, one location, what more do you want..?

Maybe it's just the title that's putting people off, how about if I changed it to 'Not the Nine O'Clock Shit'..?

Nah, you take my word for it, shit sells, just look at Odd One In, it's almost an identical format..!!!

Sitcoms? I shit 'em...

VOTE SHIT HAPPENS..!!!

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Just a thought, maybe it should have started where Elsie falls when dancing, that sets up the problem/premis. then have Bob and Ted discussing it in the cafe. Well, just my thoughts

Quote: bushbaby @ June 23 2011, 10:52 AM BST

It means you must have a plot/premise with problems along the way and a resolution.
I like Robin Kelly he has a lot of good advice for comedy writing.
The entries for the trials IMO all have excellent dialogue/writing, but......

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Sorry BB but that advice is like saying to an aspirant chef that is simple to cook a three course dinner - simply have a starter a main course and then pudding!

Quote: bushbaby @ June 23 2011, 12:47 PM BST

Just a thought, maybe it should have started where Elsie falls when dancing, that sets up the problem/premis. then have Bob and Ted discussing it in the cafe. Well, just my thoughts

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If it was an eight point maybe, but this was strictly a three pointer..

Quote: Marc P @ June 23 2011, 12:50 PM BST

Sorry BB but that advice is like saying to an aspirant chef that is simple to cook a three course dinner - simply have a starter a main course and then pudding!

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I don't really know what you mean Marc. the advice to the aspirant chef is fine but if he proceeds to just make a stew and nothing else, he hasn't followed the simple instructions
And who said the instructions are simple/ [just followed your description] I keep saying the skill is in the story line, it is the most difficult part of writing. I never cease to be amazed at John Sullivan who wrote storylines for his sitcom for 25 years!! That's some amount of stories.

Quote: RedZed333 @ June 23 2011, 12:51 PM BST

If it was an eight point maybe, but this was strictly a three pointer..

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It's mainly telling though, not showing