British Comedy Guide

Sitcom Trials Manchester 2011 - scripts invited Page 15

Quote: evan rubivellian @ June 22 2011, 7:19 PM BST

bushbaby: Have you taken your script down? I can't find it among the entries.

Yes I did as this was my last ditch chance, so I am def giving up writing now. As I have said before, mine is not funny on the page but is funny acted out......I have had them acted out to great laughter and applause :) so that is why I tried comps; but I am 70 and probably it's about time I gave up :D
Plus I was a bit nervous at having my email address on the net

bushbaby: But only a trickle of the votes have rolled in. Don't give up writing because of a competition. Kev also gave me a "No" and I'm a genius! If you like writing then stick with it.

Quote: evan rubivellian @ June 22 2011, 7:33 PM BST

bushbaby: But only a trickle of the votes have rolled in. Don't give up writing because of a competition. Kev also gave me a "No" and I'm a genius! If you like writing then stick with it.

I should think kev's opinion is final and he gave me a NO :)

Quote: bushbaby @ June 22 2011, 7:29 PM BST

Yes I did as this was my last ditch chance, so I am def giving up writing now. As I have said before, mine is not funny on the page but is funny acted out......I have had them acted out to great laughter and applause :) so that is why I tried comps; but I am 70 and probably it's about time I gave up :D
Plus I was a bit nervous at having my email address on the net

delete email address and repost it, if this is your last go you should at least see it through to the end, you never know what could happen

Quote: bushbaby @ June 22 2011, 7:36 PM BST

I should think kev's opinion is final and he gave me a NO :)

Kev has stated that his vote counts no more nor less than any other vote; he is not the final arbitrator of this competition.

Quote: bushbaby @ June 22 2011, 7:36 PM BST

I should think kev's opinion is final and he gave me a NO :)

And are you the kind of person who takes "no" for an answer?

Quote: Mr Ashdown @ June 22 2011, 7:39 PM BST

Kev has stated that his vote counts no more nor less than any other vote; he is not the final arbitrator of this competition.

Yeah, he's not the boss of us!

Quote: evan rubivellian @ June 22 2011, 7:40 PM BST

And are you the kind of person who takes "no" for an answer?

Yeah, he's not the boss of us!

haha as you know I am not but I didn't expect it to win here is my sitcom story....

John [40 ish] owns a house and shares it with two twenty years olds that are on benefits. One is an actor, one is a singer but, they hardly get work. John has a multi millionaire friend, Peregrine, who is dying to get into John's pants so keeps giving him projects to do and paying handsomely. In this storyline, Peregrine has offered John 10k to do up his flat whilst in Paris. John is busy doing fashion shows so asks the youngsters to do the work. Steve picks up the key from the estate agents and he and Vicky go to the flat and start work. Disaster ensues when Steve trips over a paint tray, spilling the paint on the carpet. He falls forward and the roller in his hand breaks a precious stained glass window, he has already broken gas pipes. John is about to visit to see how they are doing [cliffhanger] It turns out, they did up the wrong flat as the estate agent gave Steve the wrong key; as there's only a few days before Peregrine's return, they have to hire a professional team to do up the right flat, hence all the 10k is lost. Peregrine is thrilled with the work and then offers them another project for 12k......i.e.. a garden fete...the end; but a feed for the next episode. Acted out, funny......read on the page....not but that is some storyline that is so lacking in the others and Kev said...he was so relieved to get to the eight min break.

Stick it back up BB! Kev has told us all he has very little to do with this show so don't go on his votes. Be judged in the same way as everyone else. And even if you get low votes on line the people who are actually running the show might love it.

Too soul destroyed Badge x not with this comp but in writing generally.

Whatever happens with this competition Bushbaby, you've lots of friends and people who respect you on these forums, and that won't change long after this daft competition has been and gone Wave

Quote: Humberfloob @ June 22 2011, 8:23 PM BST

Whatever happens with this competition Bushbaby, you've lots of friends and people who respect you on these forums, and that won't change long after this daft competition has been and gone Wave

Ah, thanks :) :) :)

You're very welcome, BB. Personally, I respect your decision to take your script down. I'm happy to go along with this way of voting but it is harsh and if you decide you'd rather not thank you very much I think that's fair enough.

Hiya,

I'm going to add some votes, but I'm going to stay positive and only give you the ones I think are the best. Having submitted one myself, I feel a bit weird slating other people's efforts. Cop out, I know.

Middling: The Gate - Decent characters that could be put in loads of other situations, so series potential. Some good lines and ideas too. YES

Bi-Polar - Decent banter. Original idea. Might be tough to do it as a series and maybe a bit long. But it was intriguing and I enjoyed it. YES

Lightning - Good idea and some great lines and good characters. Would definitely like to see how it develops.

Singing the Blues - really good idea and some great lines and pathos. Would be difficult to pull off a series, maybe more of a comedy drama. Very good. YES

Oh, and a vote for As Sick As A Parrot, which is mine. Might as well bolster my own vote while I'm here.

Quote: bushbaby @ June 22 2011, 7:50 PM BST

...have they got a story line/a beginning/muddle/end...

If I hear "beginning/muddle/end" once more on this forum I might have to commence Operation Stab-With-Knife.

Quote: Penge @ June 22 2011, 10:35 PM BST

If I hear "beginning/muddle/end" once more on this forum I might have to commence Operation Stab-With-Knife.

The skill of sitcom writing is first and foremost the story line. Here is what Robin Kelly says ........

The three act structure is the basis of all sitcoms, even those with a commercial break, and put simply is:

Act I - get your protagonist into a tree

Act II - throw things at her/him

Act III - get her/him down

I would suggest that you don't attempt to write your episode until you have your story and structure worked out. It saves a lot of time and hassle. As my grandmother used to say, "Proper preparation prevents piss-poor performance".

And yes, before you ask, I have had a bottle of red, it tends to dull my mind from shit that happens all the time

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