This is the thread to share your favourite spam messages, so have a dig in your junk folder if you need to.
The first paragraph of this one has a real poetry to it:
"Present to the girlfriend unforgettable night! Make happy the girlfriend! Be always at height!
As sometimes a man finds himself incapable of satisfy his partner after stress or exhaustion, we offer best male desir booster! You won't have to wait f...or your Johnson to show its energy and strength!"
Like.
Quote: David Bussell @ January 27 2011, 11:33 AM GMTThis is the thread to share your favourite spam messages, so have a dig in your junk folder if you need to.
The first paragraph of this one has a real poetry to it:
"Present to the girlfriend unforgettable night! Make happy the girlfriend! Be always at height!
As sometimes a man finds himself incapable of satisfy his partner after stress or exhaustion, we offer best male desir booster! You won't have to wait f...or your Johnson to show its energy and strength!"
Bought a bucketful of that stuff. My willy is now capable of patting me on the head and my left testicle currently resides in the Tate Modern.
I think this is quite poetic.
'the Southerner up short. His eyes narrowed as
he looked keenly at Jaxom.'
Have learned not to open the things, but one of my fav books is about a real life scambaiter who answers the emails he recieves and leads them on a wild goose chase, loads of really funny ones in there...'Do not be surprised at recieving this mail,I believe there is no harm in trying someone trustworthy at heart. A new relationship will go a long way to help me. I need you to stand as 'Next of Kin' to one Mansour Rahbani'...and so on
From a job recruitment spam I was sent today (though Gmail didn't consider it spam)...
'We're a speedily mounting mixed-method wonderfully established Engineering association searching for a highly created and tactical anyone to enter this group. focal assignment will be order picking together with administrating catalog of our (designs) and construction projects, modifying our web page.
Attention to component is decisive, you will be obligated to be importantly all ears and able to work under your personal scheme.
This is a amazing prospect for someone searching to get their primary start on in a association that's enhancing quickly and respect human resources who can form a dissimilarity.'
Naturally, my first thought was, where do I sign-up?! 
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Abortion clinics advertising on my blog
Quote: sootyj @ February 2 2011, 9:17 PM GMTAbortion clinics advertising on my blog
Eveyone's a critic Soots
There are thousands of married women and men in your city that are interested in having an affair outside of their marriage. These married people do not want to get a divorce, but just want to meet someone at the Ashley Madison Affairs Club that they can have a sexual relationship with and nothing else. These married women and men belong to the Ashley Madison Affairs Club because they are not satisfied with the sexual relationship that they have with their husband or wife, and want to meet someone that can satisfy them sexually. These women and men are not "sluts" or bad people...they are just missing something in their marriage that they can have fulfilled at the Ashley Madison Affairs Club. What is the Ashley Madison Affairs Club? The Ashley Madison Affairs Club is an online community that helps married people find someone in their city that they can have a discreet affair with. We also guarantee to our members that if they join this affairs club they will have an affair. You can be married or single to join. But only join the Ashley Madison Affairs Club if you want to have a sexual relationship with someone that doesn't want to fall in love. No one at the Ashley Madison Affairs Club is looking for romance, they are seeking someone that can show them a good time in the bedroom. Also, the women that you will meet here want to find a man that will do things to their bodies that their husbands do not do. So the love making will be very wild, and very fun. If you are 18 years of age or older then we can help you meet married women or men that want to have a discreet affair. And remember, if you join the Ashley Madison Affairs Club today, you are guaranteed to have an affair with someone that you want to have an affair with. This really is the easiest place in the world to have multiple intimate encounters with multiple women or men. Go here to meet a married woman or man that wants to sleep with youhttp://myosoli.com/tr.php?132962+hatstand123@hotmail.com
Is this your new business venture Sooty?
No someone thought I might want to get jiggy with married types, you're married right?
Quote: sootyj @ June 17 2011, 7:50 AM BSTThere are thousands of married women and men in your city that are interested in having an affair outside of their marriage. These married people do not want to get a divorce, but just want to meet someone at the Ashley Madison Affairs Club that they can have a sexual relationship with and nothing else. These married women and men belong to the Ashley Madison Affairs Club because they are not satisfied with the sexual relationship that they have with their husband or wife, and want to meet someone that can satisfy them sexually. These women and men are not "sluts" or bad people...they are just missing something in their marriage that they can have fulfilled at the Ashley Madison Affairs Club. What is the Ashley Madison Affairs Club? The Ashley Madison Affairs Club is an online community that helps married people find someone in their city that they can have a discreet affair with. We also guarantee to our members that if they join this affairs club they will have an affair. You can be married or single to join. But only join the Ashley Madison Affairs Club if you want to have a sexual relationship with someone that doesn't want to fall in love. No one at the Ashley Madison Affairs Club is looking for romance, they are seeking someone that can show them a good time in the bedroom. Also, the women that you will meet here want to find a man that will do things to their bodies that their husbands do not do. So the love making will be very wild, and very fun. If you are 18 years of age or older then we can help you meet married women or men that want to have a discreet affair. And remember, if you join the Ashley Madison Affairs Club today, you are guaranteed to have an affair with someone that you want to have an affair with. This really is the easiest place in the world to have multiple intimate encounters with multiple women or men. Go here to meet a married woman or man that wants to sleep with youhttp://myosoli.com/tr.php?132962+hatstand123@hotmail.com
Foolishly they've forgotten to give the name of their club.
It's the Ashley Madison Affairs Club
Bussell how long you've been married and you're horning in on my sex spam for marrieds?
Quote: sootyj @ June 17 2011, 7:50 AM BSTThese women and men are not "sluts" or bad people...are seeking someone that can show them a good time in the bedroom. Also, the women that you will meet here want to find a man that will do things to their bodies that their husbands do not do.
The word 'Sluts' is getting around a bit at the mo.
Yes, the thing is many husbands surprisingly don't like doing the cover with marmite and roll in fruit n fibre kinky breakfast special.
Just got this one this morning.
Hello,
I write to inundate on your recent dealings with my boss. I was a member of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) on local and foreign debt attached to the World Bank office in Washington, DC, USA. I resigned honorably when I discovered the unholy activities of my colleagues during a private investigation I carried out. I suspected some kind of foul play in their act which they would never inform me because they know I would never be a party to such as a Christian.
I discovered that my boss connived with some top officials of the World Bank to divert funds approved to settle lottery winners, international contractors and withheld inheritance. The World Bank has already given approval for these payments while they deliberately withheld your payment file. They incessantly ask you for one fee or the other from different quarters in order to justify their selfish interest. I wonder why you haven't noticed all this.
Well, I just hope you believe me, if not, your fund is gone. Your fund is currently authorized to be paid to you from a financial consultant in the UK or US, approved by the World Bank with a Key Tested Reference/Claim Code Numbers, which was supposed to have been issued to you, but they decided to divert your attention by telling you that they have something to do with one committee or the other especially in Holland (Amsterdam) or Africa and they make you believe that the fund will be transferred into your account - FALSE!
The reason why I am giving you this information is because of the fact that I was aware of it and my doctrine does not permit me to withhold such information. The only help you can get from me now, is the actual link to your payment, please do not give this information to my boss as he may influence a total blockage of your payment, so you have to be very careful with this information.
Upon your response, I shall give you all you needed to contact the World Bank payment centers in UK or US.
Yours truly,
Ms.Tracy Sanson
FBI/WB. WDC, USA.
Every time I see FBI, I think of Bob Mortimer saying it in Shooting Stars.
Quote: sootyj @ June 17 2011, 8:33 AM BSTIt's the Ashley Madison Affairs Club
Bussell how long you've been married and you're horning in on my sex spam for marrieds?
It was a subtle joke at the fact that they've included the name of their club just about every line.
As for my marriage, I fear I'm approaching the seven week itch.