The tramps

EXT. THE STREETS – MORNING

TWO TRAMPS ARE IN AN ALLEY OFF THE SIDE OF A STREET. ONE OF THEM IS SAT WITH BACK AGAINST THE WALL, WHILST THE OTHER SLEEPS. THE SLEEPING TRAMP AWAKES, HOLDING HIS HEAD.

TRAMP #1
Oh man.

TRAMP #2
Morning.

TRAMP #1
I’ve got a banging headache.

TRAMP #2
I’m not surprised. You were necking those special brews last night.

TRAMP #1
Oh god, I was so wasted. I can’t even remember what happened!

TRAMP #2
Do you remember what you did with Dirty Edna?

TRAMP #1
Oh no, I didn’t?

TRAMP #2
You did. She left before you woke up. She obviously wasn’t that impressed by your ‘Big Issue’.

TRAMP #1
Oh dear, I’m gonna get a lot of stick for this. I was gonna start begging at 9 this morning, but I reckon I’ll pull a sickie.

TRAMP #2
Quality night though.

TRAMP #1
Yeah, definitely. Up for another one tonight?

TRAMP #2
I’m a bit short of money. But I think you owe me one anyway.

TRAMP #1
Yeah, whatever.

TRAMP #2
Right, well can’t keep chatting all day. Some of us have work to do.

TRAMP #2 WALKS OFF.

TRAMP #1
(TO HIMSELF) Dirty Edna? Dammit, I knew I should’ve stayed in last night.

This started well and had potential but I think it fizzled out a bit at the end. Maybe you could do more with these two.

Yeah, the idea was just that homeless people have the same conversations that 'normal' people do. Think it needs more thought.

Hmm... is this a little insensitive towards homeless people? Making out they live an essentially 'normal' life?

I think it could be seen in that way, but I think that a lot of comedy could be seen as insensitive to groups....I'm struggling to think of examples, but like simply, it's insensitive to suggest the Irish drink more than others.

Well - look at Little Britain. The thing is, for whatever reason, and one may question the morality behind it, people are a lot easier-going on this sort of stuff if the minority in question is actually acting a part in it. E.g. Lucas and 'Only Gay'. So maybe you need to employ a tramp or two to do it!

On the plus side, you probably wouldn't need to pay them.

Quote: James Williams @ December 31, 2007, 6:02 PM

Well - look at Little Britain. The thing is, for whatever reason, and one may question the morality behind it, people are a lot easier-going on this sort of stuff if the minority in question is actually acting a part in it. E.g. Lucas and 'Only Gay'. So maybe you need to employ a tramp or two to do it!

On the plus side, you probably wouldn't need to pay them.

View original

Haha! It might be polite to give them a couple of quid! If I was to actually do this, it would need a re-write I think to give it something people tend to like, known as 'humour'.

I quite like the general idea of this, two homeless people having regular conversations about pulling a 'sickie' was good. Don't think it's insensitive to homeless people, it's just a sketch that is quite 'silly' (that's not a bad thing, I like silly), it's hardly poking fun at homeless people.

If you were doing a sitcom about homeless people then I agree you'd probably have to take more care because it would be very much focusing on their day to day lives. But a short sketch I don't think there's really a problem.

I liked it.

However I'd drop the name Dirty Edna like a piece of hot coal, dipped in shit.

There can't be many tramps 80 years plus knocking about (from what i've seen many are between 25 and 55) and I'm sure they don't call each other Dirty.

Using the power of method acting or summat i think tramps would give each other monikers such as:

Deansgate Dan
Claire Wynsors Bins

Obviously based on there localality in town

Curtain Carol, for her bed made of primarily curtains etc.

just a thought :-)

Quote: James Williams @ December 31, 2007, 5:26 PM

Hmm... is this a little insensitive towards homeless people? Making out they live an essentially 'normal' life?

View original

*Shrugs*

Right it is good Charisma but it needs something. I dont know what though. I bet you will come up with that something though!x

The problem I have is that tramps don't sell the big issue - homeless people do - and they don't beg - so you are conflating three groups of people. Stick to one group: tramps, beggers or big issue sellers - and try to find out something about them.

Over analyzing this guy's sketch it's ok but like many mentioned it's fizzled out a bit with a weak punchline (which I have to admit reading again to properly get it).

Re - write it, I reckon it could be a good read/sketch.