This is something I just thought of, so this is a first draft. Probably hit and mainly miss, but thought I'd ask for some feedback. Imagine a double act, not in character (so playing themselves) but with the "cameras rolling". Hope it makes sense for you when you read it...
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
THE BEDROOM IS YELLOW WALLPAPERED WITH A SINGLE BED IN THE MIDDLE. ANDY IS SAT IN THE BED DOING THE CROSSWORD IN THE NEWSPAPER. THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.
ANDY
Come in.
HARRY POKES HIS HEAD AROUND THE DOOR.
HARRY
I’ve got it.
ANDY
What? 5 down? 6 letters. An artists first draft.
HARRY ENTERS THE ROOM, WEARING HIS PYJAMAS.
HARRY
No! An idea for our sketch show.
ANDY
You have got it! Sketch! Well done!
HARRY
No, you muppet! I’ve worked out how we can get the public to love us.
ANDY
Have you?
HARRY
Yes! I’ve worked out how we can become a national treasure.
ANDY
What is it?
HARRY
I’ve worked out-
ANDY
Yes, we know you’ve worked something out. What is it?
HARRY
We sleep together.
ANDY
You what?
HARRY
We sleep together.
ANDY
That’s what I thought you said. Listen boy, I don’t mind exploring new ideas, but I don’t see how going on an anal adventure is going to make us a great comedy double act.
HARRY
Don’t be so ridiculous! I don’t mean sleep together in a homosexual way; I mean as in literally sleep. Look at the greats: Laurel and Hardy, Morecambe and Wise. What do they have in common?
ANDY
Funnier material than us?
HARRY
They share a bed. And no-one thought they were gay. It made people think they had a strong bond. It made them loveable.
ANDY
I don’t think that’s the only reason why, but (PAUSE) go on, let’s give it a shot.
HARRY PUNCHES THE AIR WITH JOY AND RUNS OVER TO THE BED. HE LIFTS UP THE COVERS, BUT THEN REALISES THAT IT’S A TIGHT SQUEEZE BECAUSE IT’S A SINGLE BED.
HARRY
Either Morecambe and Wise had a bigger bed, or they were both midgets.
HARRY CLIMBS IN BUT THEY ARE VERY CLOSE AND THE EACH HAVE ONE LEG STUCK OUT OF THE SIDES.
HARRY
Are you gonna be hogging the covers all night or what?
ANDY
This is stupid!
HARRY
Alright, why don’t we go tops and tails?
ANDY
Good idea. Go on then.
HARRY
What why should I go? It was my idea!
ANDY
I need to be this way so I’m facing the camera. This face is keeping all the ladies tuned in. And let’s face it, we need all the viewers we can get.
HARRY
This isn’t working.
HARRY GETS OUT OF BED AND GOES OVER TO THE WINDOW. HE PULLS BACK THE CURTAIN. AN ICE CREAM VAN GOES PAST.
HARRY
He won’t get the hospital very fast going at that speed! Eh? Eh?
ANDY
No. Just no. Go back to your room.
HARRY HEADS TOWARDS THE DOOR LOOKING DISGRUNTLED.
HARRY
I bet Matt Lucas would go to bed with David Walliams if he asked.