British Comedy Guide

Too much bran

MAN SITS DOWN TO BREAKFAST HE PICKS UP A BOX OF CEREAL THE FRONT READS
"New 100% allbran"
HE SMILES SMUGLY
HE POURS IT INTO A BOWL, HE STARTS TO LIFT A JUG TO POUR MILK INTO IT

A HOODED MONK APPEARS GRABS THE MILK AND THROWS IT AWAY, THEN HANDS HIM A JUG

HE POURS A STREAM OF VERY FINELY MILLED BRAN OVER HIS ALL BRAN FROM THE JUG THE MAN LOOKS PERTURBED

ANOTHER MONK APPEARS AND ROUGHLY PULLS HIS DRESSING GOWN OFF OF THE MAN

AND ANOTHER MONK FORCES A COURSE SMOCK OF BRAN OVER THE MAN'S SHOULDERS

2 MONKS HOLD THE MAN DOWN WHO IS NOW SCREAMING IN FEAR AND ANOTHER MONK SHAVES THE MANS HEAD BEFORE PLACING A CRUDE RASTA WIG APPARENTLY MADE FROM BRAN ON THE MAN'S SHAVEN BLEEDING HEAD

MAN LOOKS UP IN HORROR TO SEE HIS WIFE ENTER THE KITCHEN, SHE IS ALSO WEARING A BRAN SMOCK AND WIG.

SHE WOULD APPEAR TO BE CARRYING AN INFANT IN SWADDLING CLOTHES

SHE LETS THE BLANKET GO AND A PILE OF BRAN WHERE THE BABY SHOULD HAVE BEEN FALLS ONTO THE FLOOR.

Too much brandy?

Oi clean and sober!

Not to your tastes then?

I'm not sure I got it to be honest. It seemed very influenced by Doctor Who.

Too much of a bran & cereal overload this morning...

Sorry, but that doesn't make any sense at all.

Are you warning us against religious asceticism?

No just eating too much bran.

Because it leads to religious asceticism?

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