INT. BEDROOM.
SCENE 1: A MAN AND WOMAN ARE LYING IN BED.
MAN:
You know the way you were talking about dressing up to make love, I've got a surprise for you.
WOMAN:
Not the fireman's outfit where you rescue me from standing on the sofa and then proceed to make love whilst uttering juvenile innuendo about your fireman's hose?
MAN:
No, no, no... you'll love this one, I thought we could do it dressed as a pantomime horse.
WOMAN:
A pantomime horse? Where did you hear about having sex in one of those? Are you having an affair?
MAN:
No, chill, chill... You'll be the front of the horse, then I take you from behind. Come on, let's give it a go?
THE MAN LIFTS UP A BAG AND TAKES OUT THE PANTO HORSE COSTUME.
SCENE 2: THE COUPLE ARE DRESSED AS THE PANTOMIME HORSE
MAN:
Right, this is proving to be a tad tricky. My head is at your arse, for starters.
WOMAN:
Mount me then, it'll look like a pantomime camel but who cares?
MAN:
Ok... let the frolics commence.
WOMAN:
Hurry up, I haven't got all day.
MAN:
Next time I do this, I'll be wearing night vision goggles... Aha!, I've docked. Yeah, we're doing it rodeo style baby!
WOMAN:
That's my armpit you imbecile.... Looks like I'm going to have to guide you in, as usual... Now, where is it? Where is it?
MAN:
It's behind you!