sirdandan
Friday 27th May 2011 5:16pm
Kingston
5 posts
Quote: Marc P @ May 27 2011, 2:34 PM BST
Sorry Danny this didn't really work for me. I didn't like the sighing character with the flat delivery, so didn't really care for his predicament. And the fat bloke only has the one joke where he talks about food in response to the other guys comments. I think it needs a lot more jokes as the drama isn't strong enough, and pace it up - the two would probably go together. Sorry to be a bit negative, you've obviously put a bit of work in. But 2 mins can be a very short time but it can also be a long time. Maybe you could play around with the editing rather than the kind of proscenium arch presentation that you have at the moment?
Best of luck with it all
Marc
Sorry it wasn't for you Marc, I can understand someone feeling that the first episode is light on gags, especially compared to the rest of the series.
I would love for you to stick around for a couple more episodes just to see if the later episodes change your mind. But I'd understand if you didn't want to.
I will say in his defence that Chris's "Flat delivery" was entirely intentional, his character has just been dumped. That character picks up as the episodes move on.
Anyway, thanks for giving us a chance.
-- Dan (AKA: The Fat One)