British Comedy Guide

Lady Luck

Thought it might be interesting to hear about tales where people have got lucky (in any sense of the word) or have been extremely unlucky for one reason or another. You can also include times where you were a whisker to success or disaster but just missed out or got away with it.

What inspired this was just hearing that someone I know had 4 numbers and the bonus ball on the lottery last night. Obviously the bonus ball doesn't count in that instance but if one of those other balls had came up he would've won over £150,000. As it was he got only £70.

For me there was the time I was buying raffle tickets with a friend. Little did I know that for a moment I had the top prize ticket of a trip to South Africa in my hand but in the act of purchasing the tickets, it got passed to my friend instead. Ho hum...

Another time - and thinking about this still sends a shiver down my spine even now - I remember driving into our village after a Sunday afternoon trip out with my mum and dad. All of a sudden a mini bus flies around the corner on the wrong side of the road and if we'd been just 50 yards further on we'd have been right in its path. That shook us all up a bit but that wasn't the worst part.

I guess we've all had near misses on the roads but this was different. You could see that they were clearly having an almighty party and I can still see their happy smiling faces. However, another 5 minutes later, 7 of them were dead as that same mini bus crashed just a couple of miles further up the road.

According to the RAC I am lucky to be alive.

A year or so ago, I had the clutch replaced on my car, then the next day drove all the way down to Cornwall and back; the following morning I drove out of my own drive and my car lost all power. It seems that after replacing the clutch the garage had failed to tighten the bolts holding the driveshaft in place, and all six had worked loose. If this had happened at motorway speeds, the driveshaft would have sliced through the gearbox, and most probably dropped down and dug into the road, flipping the car. As it was the RAC man was able to tighten the bolts back in place, no harm done.

In describing my escape the RAC man used the word 'amazing' around a hundred times.

I went to the horse races once on a club outing. I don't bet on horses and I didn't know much about it.

I had taken £20 to bet on each race with the attitude that if I win I win, if I don't I won't be too bothered.

I put my first £20 on the first race by picking the horse just by it's name. But, I went to the tote counter and was totally confused how to place my bet. It all seemed to be numbers and not names.

I remembered that my horse was No 5, so I placed my £20 on that. When I went back to my friends they explained that the No 5 I was looking at was in fact the stall number it was starting in. My horse was No 18. So I had placed my bet on the wrong horse not only that, it was a outsider. The story went round our group and they all were laughing at my mistake.

You guessed it, No 5 won easily but because I had placed my bet on the tote, I couldn't understand the winning odds.
On the tote TV screen it said something like £93 for the winner.
I was happy with that and went to collect my £93.

I was amazed when the lady behind the counter went to fetch some supervisor and they both started counting a big pile of money out.

I was actually thinking that they were messing about on something else and why wern't they giving me my £93

They then shoved this big pile of money under the glass to me.
It was around £2000.

I still don't really understand the tote but the winnings of £93 was for a £1 bet so my £20 was like 20 winning tickets (something like that)
I only had jeans and a tee-shirt on, I could hardly fit the 'wad' in my pockets.

I don't think I've ever been very lucky.

I suppose 118 118 was a bit of luck getting the old foot in the door nice and early.

But no rest of the time born under a bad star.

Quote: Timbo @ May 26 2011, 12:19 PM BST

According to the RAC I am lucky to be alive.

A year or so ago, I had the clutch replaced on my car, then the next day drove all the way down to Cornwall and back; the following morning I drove out of my own drive and my car lost all power. It seems that after replacing the clutch the garage had failed to tighten the bolts holding the driveshaft in place, and all six had worked loose. If this had happened at motorway speeds, the driveshaft would have sliced through the gearbox, and most probably dropped down and dug into the road, flipping the car. As it was the RAC man was able to tighten the bolts back in place, no harm done.

In describing my escape the RAC man used the word 'amazing' around a hundred times.

Have you thought about giving up on the old driving...

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ May 26 2011, 12:40 PM BST

I went to the horse races once on a club outing. I don't bet on horses and I didn't know much about it.

I had taken £20 to bet on each race with the attitude that if I win I win, if I don't I won't be too bothered.

I put my first £20 on the first race by picking the horse just by it's name. But, I went to the tote counter and was totally confused how to place my bet. It all seemed to be numbers and not names.

I remembered that my horse was No 5, so I placed my £20 on that. When I went back to my friends they explained that the No 5 I was looking at was in fact the stall number it was starting in. My horse was No 18. So I had placed my bet on the wrong horse not only that, it was a outsider. The story went round our group and they all were laughing at my mistake.

You guessed it, No 5 won easily but because I had placed my bet on the tote, I couldn't understand the winning odds.
On the tote TV screen it said something like £93 for the winner.
I was happy with that and went to collect my £93.

I was amazed when the lady behind the counter went to fetch some supervisor and they both started counting a big pile of money out.

I was actually thinking that they were messing about on something else and why wern't they giving me my £93

They then shoved this big pile of money under the glass to me.
It was around £2000.

I still don't really understand the tote but the winnings of £93 was for a £1 bet so my £20 was like 20 winning tickets (something like that)
I only had jeans and a tee-shirt on, I could hardly fit the 'wad' in my pockets.

That's quite a story - the Gods clearly on your side that day. :)

An old colleague of mine used to tell me that his grandfather had bet on Foinavon at 100/1 at the 1967 Grand National and ended up winning £4000 - I guess it was part of some accumulator. He also said you can see him patting the horses neck as it went into the winners enclosure on the old newsreel footage.

Good luck

When I was about 9 me and a few mates (as you did in the 70's) wanted to make a go-kart to enter into the local carnival parade. As any good go-kart maker will tell you the key to a decent kart was a good set of pram wheels (proper big pram wheels, not like those titchy buggy ones you get nowadays). We decided to check out an unofficial tip site about 1/2 a mile away. When we got there we found someone had tipped a fully complete homemade go-kart. We were delighted!

Bad luck

It was stored in mate 'A's shed after we had given it a paint job. Mate 'B', for reasons unknown, decided to tell Mate 'A' that we weren't going to let him come in the carnival with us. Mate 'A' went home and promptly smashed the wheels off, breaking the pram axles. We couldn't find any more wheels so used 6" nails to nail the wheels on which lasted about 5 minutes into the carnival before buckling. We ended up carrying it about 2 miles home before dumping it.

The good luck giveth, and the good luck taketh away.

I was in negotiation with a LA producer about a film option. He was interested in the synopsis of my script. He wanted to see the full script. He wanted it in PDF format. My PDF converter continually crashed. He lost interest. I'm still poor :(

(Republican Films if anyones intetested)

When I was about 6 me & my mate were messing about in a school during the Summer holidays.
We went in a room that was possibly a waiting room outside the headmasters office and then the Door locked behind us & we were trapped inside.
There were no windows except one that was boarded up.
I found a pencil on the floor & used it to set the Fire bell off
(thinking that this was somehow connected to the Fire Brigade) and that they would rescue us.
Well that noise got annoying after a while.

Anyway, I'm not sure if anyone would have come the next day, but we thought we were going to be there forever, so after lot's of crying & praying I tried the Pencil in the lock and after much twisting jamming & splintering as possible the door unlocked, sunlight came in & we were free.

Not sure how easy it is to pick a lock with a pencil, but it can be done with a bit of luck

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ May 26 2011, 2:11 PM BST

When I was about 6 me & my mate were messing about in a school during the Summer holidays.
We went in a room that was possibly a waiting room outside the headmasters office and then the Door locked behind us & we were trapped inside.
There were no windows except one that was boarded up.
I found a pencil on the floor & used it to set the Fire bell off
(thinking that this was somehow connected to the Fire Brigade) and that they would rescue us.
Well that noise got annoying after a while.

Anyway, I'm not sure if anyone would have come the next day, but we thought we were going to be there forever, so after lot's of crying & praying I tried the Pencil in the lock and after much twisting jamming & splintering as possible the door unlocked, sunlight came in & we were free.

Not sure how easy it is to pick a lock with a pencil, but it can be done with a bit of luck

You burgling bastard you :P

Laughing out loud

And that's how Steve "Hudson Hawk" Sunshine begun his career of buggery.

Soon to be the most feared bugger in all the lower east side.

I had a 12/1 winner about 10
minutes ago at Sandown

my lucky night !

I don't really have much luck. Especially with the ladies.

Quote: Tuumble @ May 26 2011, 10:09 AM BST

What inspired this was just hearing that someone I know had 4 numbers and the bonus ball on the lottery last night. Obviously the bonus ball doesn't count in that instance but if one of those other balls had came up he would've won over £150,000. As it was he got only £70.

Someone I know got 5 numbers on the lottery and you don't get anywhere near £150,000. It's more like £1,500.

Doesn't it depend on the week? Like some weeks 5 numbers gets a fortune, and some weeks hardly any?

I think Tuumble meant 5 & the bonus ball anyway
I don't think 5 on it's own get's a great deal.

Which judging by the odds is a disgrace really! A disgrace I tell ya

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