British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 3,725

Housing association flat - quite a few properties around here with the same type of door. Mind you, that doesn't necessarily rule out that they're ALL into herbal remedies.

Quote: Nil Putters @ May 23 2011, 10:37 PM BST

Maybe they're just worried about being broken in to, by police.

:D :D :D

And in other news...

I've just received an email titled 'Young People of the Year Cambridgeshire'. To my dismay I wasn't being nominated for an award but instead heartlessly hounded for event sponsorship! The cheek...

Young? (tee hee)

Quote: Will Cam @ May 23 2011, 10:03 PM BST

Will Cam has either made the best decision of his life, or the worst. My mortgage is finished next July/August. I have just put an offer in on a second property (releasing equity from my current house). I am intending taking out a mortgage over 15 years. It's a buyers market at the moment so if I rent it out (covers bout half the mortgage) and prices rise again in the near future I might make a good profit (well I won't because the plan is to sell it to my lad in 5 years time for the price we paid for it to help him on to the property ladder). WTF am I doing >_<

Come the Revolution (which can't be far away the way these c**nts are carrying on) all property will be taken into the hands of the people!

Some destitute Somali will be very grateful to you!

Quote: Tuumble @ May 23 2011, 10:33 PM BST

50 minutes later the Police are still trying to get into the flat. A more heavy handed approach is being prepared it seems.

I'm hoping this isn't the rapid response team...

They're in! Panel broken at the bottom of the door and a be-helmeted officer is inside...

If they can kick the panel in what are they p*ss*ng about at?

Normally those hydraulic ram guns get them in in seconds.

Did they come on bikes with pointy helmets BTW?

Riley is in hospital and being kept awake by the warthog in the bed next door. Riley is seriously contemplating wrapping the iv line round the bastard's windpipe. The noise has to be heard to be believed

Good grief are you alright?

(Albeit Sootyj snores so has given up on idea on seducing Riley sorry)

Hey Old Rocker with all your wisdom how do I chat up girls?

Quote: Oldrocker @ May 24 2011, 12:33 AM BST

Normally those hydraulic ram guns get me in seconds.

You old smoothy!

Quote: sootyj @ May 24 2011, 8:23 AM BST

Hey Old Rocker with all your wisdom how do I chat up girls?

Had they invented language when he started?

cheers sootyj. Tired, sore and embarrassed. I fell off my bike and 'took a divot' out of my elbow. I'll post the details later as battery in the phone is about to expire.

Quote: Nogget @ May 24 2011, 8:56 AM BST

Had they invented language when he started?

A swift bop on the head with a club followed by a romantic drag to the cave by their hair.

Quote: KLRiley @ May 24 2011, 8:56 AM BST

cheers sootyj. Tired, sore and embarrassed. I fell off my bike and 'took a divot' out of my elbow. I'll post the details later as battery in the phone is about to expire.

Speedy recovery wished for

Quote: sootyj @ May 24 2011, 9:02 AM BST

A swift bop on the head with a club followed by a romantic drag to the cave by their hair.

Are some boppings on the head & romantic draggings worse than others?

Shame on you,

"no means no"

Even when it refers to head bopping and cave dragging.

Just spent too long looking for websites that give away free chocolate bar samples. Couldn't find any. Now I need to go buy a chocolate bar. Damn, these free promotion things work!

Quote: sootyj @ May 24 2011, 8:23 AM BST

(Albeit Sootyj snores so has given up on idea on seducing Riley sorry)

Probably a sensible move Soots. I think you might get a bit of a shock if we met. Don't think I'm your type.

Wondering why everyone else in London has a foxy Polish chick cleaning their flats, and I'm stuck with a miserable Indian bastard.

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