British Comedy Guide

What are you watching on TV? Page 1,441

Quote: sootyj @ May 22 2011, 5:16 PM BST

It's a jail not a prison e.g. for people awaiting trial and some on fairly mild criminal charges.

Jails also hold people who are serving short (less than a year) sentences after being convicted. I'll guarantee you that none of the inmates are strangers to the penal system; you don't spend months in jail unless you're comfortable inside and/or refused bail due to your previous offences.

These people are violent predators. That's the life they chose on the streets and they're just carrying on with what they do best: fight, steal and prey on the weak. They're exactly where they need to be.

There didn't seem to be a lot of white faces in that jail. Apart from Louis. He'd be easy to spot in a 'Where's Wally' style scenario.

Some quotes from Theroux:

"One time I was leaving a cell and an inmate just grabbed me by the arm. All the officers had left and he pulled me back in. After a couple of seconds he let me go and everyone started laughing. So it was partly a joke, but they were also trying to get a rise out of me and capture my look of panic.

"On another occasion, I had my fingers up against a chain-link fence and an inmate who, for some reason, appeared not to like me, just went for my hand and started to press my fingers very hard against it. Just to hurt me and make me uncomfortable.

"I realised it was a game, if not a particularly nice one, and it reminded me of being at school where you'd get these little random acts of spite."

Early in our visit, I heard whispers from the officers accompanying us that some of the inmates were being "disrespectful" during interviews. I was confused. They were shouting? Making faces?
No, they were "gunning" - that is to say masturbating - "at" and "to" our female director and assistant producer.

I recalled that some of the men behind bars had been swaddled in sheets as they stood or had lain covered on their beds - I'd assumed this was because they were camera shy - but in fact, it was explained, this was the better to hide.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ May 22 2011, 5:18 PM BST

The ad I saw made it look as though it contained some rather violent and disturbed gents.

Stott if you were locked up with 24 other nutters with only 2 crappers and no way out, you'd be fighty with in a week.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ May 22 2011, 5:27 PM BST

There didn't seem to be a lot of white faces in that jail.

A white guy wouldn't last long in those cells. In major cities with gang problems the cells are often segregated to keep inmates from murdering people from other gangs/races/nationalities.

Quote: DaButt @ May 22 2011, 5:28 PM BST

Some quotes from Theroux:

Which is why I doubt the show will be all about how awful the poor little prisoners' conditions are...

Quote: sootyj @ May 22 2011, 5:28 PM BST

Stott if you were locked up with 24 other nutters with only 2 crappers and no way out, you'd be fighty with in a week.

The cells looked nicer than the barracks where I spent basic training: rows of bunk beds, a shared shower and side-by-side toilets.

I read once that in some parts of America, black people have a longer life expectancy while on death row than they do being out on the streets.

God bless America!

Quote: sootyj @ May 22 2011, 5:28 PM BST

Stott if you were locked up with 24 other nutters with only 2 crappers and no way out, you'd be fighty with in a week.

I'd shank you for your snout withing an hour.

Quote: DaButt @ May 22 2011, 5:24 PM BST

Jails also hold people who are serving short (less than a year) sentences after being convicted. I'll guarantee you that none of the inmates are strangers to the penal system; you don't spend months in jail unless you're comfortable inside and/or refused bail due to your previous offences.

These people are violent predators. That's the life they chose on the streets and they're just carrying on with what they do best: fight, steal and prey on the weak. They're exactly where they need to be.

So DaButt you're never going to get arrested for a minor crime you're innocent of, if you are you'll get bail, you'll never have an illness your insurance doesn't cover and if you do get ill it won't raise your premiuns beyond what you can't afford, you'll never get fired or broke or depressed.

My word DaButt you do plan on having an incredibly fortunate life.

Quote: DaButt @ May 22 2011, 5:24 PM BST

Jails also hold people who are serving short (less than a year) sentences after being convicted. I'll guarantee you that none of the inmates are strangers to the penal system; you don't spend months in jail unless you're comfortable inside and/or refused bail due to your previous offences.

These people are violent predators. That's the life they chose on the streets and they're just carrying on with what they do best: fight, steal and prey on the weak. They're exactly where they need to be.

So DaButt you're never going to get arrested for a minor crime you're innocent of, if you are you'll get bail, you'll never have an illness your insurance doesn't cover and if you do get ill it won't raise your premiuns beyond what you can't afford, you'll never get fired or broke or depressed.

My word DaButt you do plan on having an incredibly fortunate life.

Quote: DaButt @ May 22 2011, 5:10 PM BST

I'm looking forward to watching a self-righteous Englishman get his panties in a bunch over a bunch of animals being treated like a bunch of animals.

Have you ever seen Louis Theroux before? He's not that type of presenter.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ May 22 2011, 5:37 PM BST

I'd shank you for your snout withing an hour.

You'd kill any one for tasty pig parts you're mad for them.

Quote: DaButt @ May 22 2011, 5:33 PM BST

The cells looked nicer than the barracks where I spent basic training: rows of bunk beds, a shared shower and side-by-side toilets.

You did volunteer for that?

Plus they let you out to bayonet sand bags whilst making a war face.

Quote: lofthouse @ May 22 2011, 5:34 PM BST

I read once that in some parts of America, black people have a longer life expectancy while on death row than they do being out on the streets.

Murder is the leading cause of death among young African-American males. It's tragic.

Quote: sootyj @ May 22 2011, 5:40 PM BST

So DaButt you're never going to get arrested for a minor crime you're innocent of, if you are you'll get bail, you'll never have an illness your insurance doesn't cover and if you do get ill it won't raise your premiuns beyond what you can't afford, you'll never get fired or broke or depressed.

You're right, I've never been arrested, bail is available for all but the worst offences, I have good insurance, I've never been fired, broke or clinically depressed.

Choosing to live a law-abiding life rather than slugging it out on the streets with the gangsters has its benefits.

You'd be surprised how many people find out those aren't choices they're chances.

Quote: chipolata @ May 22 2011, 5:41 PM BST

Have you ever seen Louis Theroux before? He's not that type of presenter.

I was going by some of his published moanings about the conditions. I suspect the man thinks these guys are victims of the system and can somehow be "fixed."

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