More Jokes -

Please find below more jokes that I have been writing for your enjoyment. Any feedback would be gratefully received.

*I planning on putting together a musical event to raise awareness for cuts and brusies... It's called band aid.

*I once started a band with a load of sewing machines but, it didn't work out as there were too many singers.

*My dog ate a song book... now his riffs worse than his bite.

*I bought a loaf the other day that just kept growing.. that was a bloomer.

*What martial art should Jesus have learnt... Judas Jitsu.

*I don't like snooker... too many cues.

*I had a gymnastic dessert the other day... it kept doing jam roly polys everywhere.

*I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook but, she made fairy cakes with washing up liquid the other day.

*I went to Greggs the other day and said to the guy behind the counter "I'd like to buy a tart please". "Bakewell?" he asked. I said "I do usually prefer my food cooked, yes".

*I got into trouble recently after booking a stripper for my mates party... Apparently it's not an appropriate form of entertainment for a baby shower.

*I had a midget friend who's business collapsed recently which just goes to show that theres no room in this world for the little man anymore.

*I was watching a programme about finning the other day and was really disappointed...There was me thinking that it was going to be a scandanavian sex movie.

More jokes to follow soon these are just some I have been working on. Any comments as to which ones work and which ones don't would be gratefully received.

Thanks,

Jason.

Not one of these jokes worked for me I'm afraid, they were either too contrived, too obvious, or else just nonsensical. Keep at it though!

*I went to Greggs the other day and said to the guy behind the counter "I'd like to buy a tart please". "Bakewell?" he asked. I said "If I could I wouldn't be in your f**king shop would I?".

Agree with DB that you need to work on them. There is a germ of an idea in them all, some better than others but you need to make them more of a joke and less of a jokoid and someone who knows more about these things than me put it.

Most need more work to be brought up to even 'christmas cracker' level.

Others have potential - with editing and rewording

All potential all under developed.

I was rehaearsing for a play on snooker but I missed my cues someone nicked them the pub last week.

Don't just think you've got a clever pun or double entendre, do something with it!

Thanks for the feed back, all fair comments and more work needed to the raw material, me thinks!! I would agree that they are contrived and hopefully I'll erradicate this with time! I especially like the re-writes as it gave me more food for thought as to where to take what I already have.. in some cases the bin.

Do you have any suggestions as to how I can effectively develop what I have? I.e. any exercises or techniques that are quite good?

Many thanks,

Jason.

Get hold of a book called the Comic Toolbox Jason.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Comic-Toolbox-Funny-Even-Youre/dp/1879505215/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1305560320&sr=8-1

Thanks Marc, I'll have a look at that and get it on order. Maybe it'd be best if I held off posting more jokes on here until then.

Thanks for your help,

Jason.

No worries Jason

It's a great book.

Quote: Marc P @ May 16 2011, 4:37 PM BST

Get hold of a book called the Comic Toolbox Jason.

View original

Its weird, but as a newbie to the comedy writing scene myself I should be ordering that book as well perhaps..but, I somehow don't want to read a book on how to do it, yet anyway. I get an idea and I put it together, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt. I kind of want to keep it that simple...but is that just me?

Don't hold off posting Jason - let us watch you get better. Either by your own efforts and/or advice from here.

I have sold gags to famous comedians and it is hard in many ways. Getting through to them is the first and biggest hurdle
Then having material they want is the next.
And they don't pay good money for Christmas cracker jokes or something just above a pun.

I have never read a 'how to' book in my life but I know if I get the right gag how to construct it.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ May 16 2011, 6:06 PM BST

Its weird, but as a newbie to the comedy writing scene myself I should be ordering that book as well perhaps..but, I somehow don't want to read a book on how to do it, yet anyway. I get an idea and I put it together, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt. I kind of want to keep it that simple...but is that just me?

View original

It's not like keeping your virginity. Buy the book, if you are serious about writing comedy.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ May 16 2011, 7:29 PM BST

I have sold gags to famous comedians. And they don't pay good money for Christmas cracker jokes or something just above a pun.

View original

Sorry are you saying puns are no good? Give us an example of one of yours that is better than a pun that you sold?

Puns keep the world sane!

Quote: Marc P @ May 16 2011, 7:41 PM BST

It's not like keeping your virginity.

View original

Do you know something I don't know Marc?

But you can be serious about writing comedy...and just write it!.. and practice and get a feel for it that way. I can see the merit of books on writing, like learning to structure and giving examples of whats worked for others etc but just don't buy into the idea that they are necessary.

I'm with Shandonbelle on this one. Books are no doubt good for some people, but I don't think I like the idea that they are a necessity. Well not from a standup POV. I imagine it's different for sitcom writers where you don't have the opportunity for constant feedback.

I got a book on writing comedy many years ago. I can't remember the name of it now, but I ended up giving it to Jacparov on here. Anyway, it was a bit out of date, but it had some excellent discussion of what makes a one liner work. It taught me a few little comedy tricks and rules which I'd been too stupid to pick up on, so I think they can be of some help to beginners.