Status report Page 3,704

I was walking through House of Frazer's beauty dept to pick up some wedding gifts over the weekend when a guy in a suit stops me to ask if I have 30 seconds for something magical. Well, of course I do! He pulls out this weird buffing device and proceeds to strum the nail of my right index finger a dozen or so times. It comes up like a shining pearl. "What do you think?" he asks. "I think I have one weird glossy nail", I reply. "And the best part is, it lasts three whole months!", he says. I ask him nicely if he can remove it but he tells me nail polish remover has no effect. From now until August I'm destined to look like a man who suffered an intense flash of finger vanity.

Quote: David Bussell @ May 16 2011, 10:07 AM BST

I was walking through House of Frazer's beauty dept to pick up some wedding gifts over the weekend when a guy in a suit stops me to ask if I have 30 seconds for something magical. Well, of course I do! He pulls out this weird buffing device and proceeds to strum the nail of my right index finger a dozen or so times. It comes up like a shining pearl. "What do you think?" he asks. "I think I have one weird glossy nail", I reply. "And the best part is, it lasts three whole months!", he says. I ask him nicely if he can remove it but he tells me nail polish remover has no effect. From now until August I'm destined to look like a man who suffered an intense flash of finger vanity.

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Are you Larry David?

Quote: Marc P @ May 16 2011, 10:10 AM BST

Are you Larry David?

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If I were I'm sure the incident would have escalated to a more satisfying conclusion.

Lol

Tell the truth did you buy the product so they were all the same???

Quote: Marc P @ May 16 2011, 10:30 AM BST

Lol

Tell the truth did you buy the product so they were all the same???

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Not for £25 I didn't!

Just buy a cheap nail buffer for a couple of quid from superdrug. I'm sure your lady will show you how to use it so your fingers can look equally dapper.

David no imagination!

Goto your local A&E and touch all the walking wounded with your magic finger, whilst going "Ouuuch!"

Quote: Nat Wicks @ May 16 2011, 10:50 AM BST

Just buy a cheap nail buffer for a couple of quid from superdrug. I'm sure your lady will show you how to use it so your fingers can look equally dapper.

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I don't know, men with manicures - it's all a bit American Psycho...

Why would you even let a stranger touch you in a shop? What did you think would happen? I'm afraid you got what you deserved.

I'd have thought such salespeople would only approach people who might buy the product, i.e., those who look obviously gay.

Quote: chipolata @ May 16 2011, 11:41 AM BST

Why would you even let a stranger touch you in a shop? What did you think would happen? I'm afraid you got what you deserved.

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He told me he was going to show me something magic! How could I not take him up on that?!

Quote: David Bussell @ May 16 2011, 1:14 PM BST

He told me he was going to show me something magic! How could I not take him up on that?!

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That's the same line got Gary Glitter 5 years in Vietnamese choky.

Quote: Nogget @ May 16 2011, 12:23 PM BST

I'd have thought such salespeople would only approach people who might buy the product, i.e., those who look obviously gay.

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Only if strutting around like a peacock in skinny jeans and wingtip shoes whilst carrying a man bag and listening to Florence on my iPod makes me gay somehow.

Quote: David Bussell @ May 16 2011, 10:07 AM BST

I was walking through House of Frazer's beauty dept to pick up some wedding gifts over the weekend when a guy in a suit stops me to ask if I have 30 seconds for something magical. Well, of course I do! He pulls out this weird buffing device and proceeds to strum the nail of my right index finger a dozen or so times. It comes up like a shining pearl. "What do you think?" he asks. "I think I have one weird glossy nail", I reply. "And the best part is, it lasts three whole months!", he says. I ask him nicely if he can remove it but he tells me nail polish remover has no effect. From now until August I'm destined to look like a man who suffered an intense flash of finger vanity.

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Heh, heh.

I had a similar situation about 12 years ago when I cured myself of biting my nails by painting them with stuff called (i think) Hard As Nails.

It was really strong (contains nylon fibre I think) and tasted terrible, so stopped my habit. But it did look like glossy nail polish.

I got waylaid similarly some years ago by a Spaniard in a shopping centre but he did both hands which was fine, then sold me the collection of products for allegedly half-price - the almond hand cream was delicious, but it takes hours to do the nails the way he did them and they certainly didn't last 3 months.