I just sat down for a half an hour and came up with these few jokes. I post on twitter but don't do stand up so I never know what to do with any jokes I come up with (I have enough toilet paper, thank you!!)Any comments/ideas welcome
Bob Marley and Michael Jackson are working on an album in heaven, its going to be called One Glove
My eco friendly but slackish hubby attempted to make a pair of homemade rollerskates using some old boots,but when he tried to fit the small metal wheels he didnt have the brass balls to carry it off
What you don't want to hear when you ask your shark of a bank manager for a loan - I'll chew it over
Sign outside a Stratford Upon Avon church - Shakespeare for the Masses
When the waitress offered me the full Irish I was surprised yet delighted when she brought Eamonn Holmes on a tray
Jesus, Mary, Christ, St Joseph, Judas and all the apostles - If priests are so holy, why do they swear so much?
My dog was barred from the newsagents for fouling the till after being refused change of a fifty pound note, of course it was countershit
Why can't Apple come up with a device that scrubs pots clean? Now that would be a Brillo pad
A special area at Hospital A & E departments has been reserved for all the Saturday night drunks, they've called it the Wasted Ward