Worst sitcom idea

Okay here's your chance to write the worst possible idea for a sitcom. Written as if an entry in the Radio times, with Channel and Time. Explain the scenario, the lead characters and who plays them. Oh and don't forget to include the truely awful catchphrases too.

The worst one, wins nothing.

Mine would be called "Tap Off"

7.30 BBC1
A fantastic hysterical romp around a slowly failing northern tap dance school. Starring Victoria Wood as the owner, and Sue Pollard as the dance teacher they both try to come up with money making schemes to stop the ailing school going under. Also starring Windsor Davies as the winner of 1952 UK tap dancing championship who still taps even though he's lost a leg. Sheridan Smith and Ralf Little are would be up and coming tap dancers who do wacky and zany things trying to make it to the top of the tap dancing tree.
Catchphrases include. Sue Pollards "Has anyone seen my shoe", and Victoria Woods "I wouldn't mind but I think they've eaten my pie"

So what do you do if this gets commissioned?

Delete the thread of course...

I think I'm starting to lose it, because the more I think about it... "Tap off" hmmm Does anyone know Sue Pollards agent?

Would she have one?

4am bbc3 'it only takes a minute girl'.

Jason Orange stars as a man suffering from premature ejaculation. Written in the style of 'two pints'. Everytime he experiences the problem he shouts 'ooh, take that!' to the poor woman.

Ok my turn,

Phones 4 Ewe.

The guy off the phones 4U adverts starts as a crackpot inventor/shepherd who invents an animal translating phone, but it only works at a distance so no-one actually knows they are talking to his sheep. Each week he tries to convince people that his genius invention works but the sheep prefer the quiet life and pretend they are just some random guy on the phone, this doesn't take a whole episode so the rest of the episode is just him running around after the flock waving his shepard's crook shouting "DAMN YOU JOHN" (which is the name of the ringleader of the sheep.
Catchphrases include "anyone got any wool" and "1, 2, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

To be honest you can ignore the bulk of this post, I just liked the pun phones 4 ewe.

Quote: jacparov @ December 27, 2007, 7:40 PM

4am bbc3 'it only takes a minute girl'.

Jason Orange stars as a man suffering from premature ejaculation. Written in the style of 'two pints'. Everytime he experiences the problem he shouts 'ooh, take that!' to the poor woman.

View original

But that's a BRILLIANT idea!

The thing is the worse you think it is the better someone else does. So nothing is out of the question. For instance "Springtime for Hitler".

"The McCanns"

BBC1 10:30pm

Like Outnumbered, but without the kids.

Quote: Leevil @ December 27, 2007, 11:07 PM

"The McCanns"

BBC1 10:30pm

Like Outnumbered, but without the kids.

View original

Ooooh!

Leevil. Aren't The McCann's huest hosting Wish You Were Here in the summer?

Mine would be

What's up Redge's Rectum?

Every week Redge would enter in a series of ludicrous slapstick scenarios which would always result in a comical object becoming trapped up his arse. He would then have to explain to his friends, family and doctors why yet again he has an object up his arse. Think Jonathon Creek with more anus.

Leevil
AJP

Mine would be about an extended family who go around shagging each other. The mother is a fooking looney & convinces her first born he is 'allllll that'. The father will attempt to murder one kid because a voice in his head told him too. Oh & an uncle will round up animals every week & try to fit them all in a canoe.
Think 'The Bible' with a modern day twist too it.