British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 3,690

Im having to keep biting my tongue all the time

This is what I WANT to say

"Look, I grew out of hating brown people when I was about 6 years old.

Just cos youve not evolved you f**king morons doesn't mine I havent"

but theres no point wasting your breath on simpletons like these

I had a few of those in my last job.
Small-town middleaged people can have some pretty disturbing views.

Quote: lofthouse @ May 10 2011, 7:01 PM BST

"Look, I grew out of hating brown people when I was about 6 years old.

Did you ever really hate them, though?
I thought most kids didn't really notice skin colour until adults make them think it's a big deal.

no course not!

i just meant a person that goes through life on this planet hating on people just because they happen to have a different colour/religion is the behaviour of a childish moron

and the people im talking about are all ages - teenage to nearly retired!

and its not anti islam stuff

i'm talking 'paki' this and 'n**er' that

what annoys me is that they talk like this in my presence - how do they know my best friend isnt black or asian when their talking about 'spear chuckers' and 'black b**ards'?

probably cos theyre too f**king thick as shit to even think of that possibility

i thought this was 2011 for f**ks sake!

Do you ever challenge them about it?

I occasionally get people talking about immigrants getting specialist treatment and 'us Brits' having to bend over backwards and just accept it when it appears not to work the other way round. But spear throwers? Blimey O'Reilley...

And no, that's not a dig at the Irish! [sigh]

On a separate note - and I apologise for this and I can only say I didn't know any better as I was only 6 - I called my pet goldfish Sambo. I will go to Hell! :(

Somewhere I still have a golliwog brooch acquired after saving jam jar tokens, so I will join you in Hell. Oh well at least we've already met so we'll recognise each other.

Has quite bad heartburn but still craving a sandwich. Hah! It'll be the death of me. :O Errr Huh? :) :( Lovey

I have awful heartburn at the moment because today I have eaten two sandwiches and some cake. Been feeling too ill to make proper foods.

First time I haven't eaten munchies all week and I get rewarded with this, this burning pain??!

We should team up and create the Heartburn Foundation.

Just tore my dryer apart to replace what Internet wisdom had told me would be a burned out heating element. Of course both elements are intact and all thermostats test OK so now I'm stumped. As usual, I lost interest in the project and now the appliance sits in pieces and my clothing supply is dwindling.

Quote: DaButt @ May 11 2011, 3:08 AM BST

Just tore my dryer apart to replace what Internet wisdom had told me would be a burned out heating element. Of course both elements are intact and all thermostats test OK so now I'm stumped. As usual, I lost interest in the project and now the appliance sits in pieces and my clothing supply is dwindling.

DaButt, I think your post belongs in, 'The difference between Men and Women' thread. Whistling nnocently

DaButt you live in Texas by a flipping clothes line

or could you not resist taking pot shots at your yfronts?

;) Could be a worn drive-belt on drum spin mechanism. simple to replace I think?

Hope helps but hell dry outdoors man!

Quote: dellas @ May 11 2011, 6:51 AM BST

;) Could be a worn drive-belt on drum spin mechanism. simple to replace I think?

It spins fine and dries fine when using the timer. There's something wrong with the automatic setting which conserves energy by turning the dryer off after sensing that the clothes are dry.

Hope helps but hell dry outdoors man!

1) I don't think outside clothes lines are allowed in my community. They're considered an eyesore and very few people in this country even own one.

2) I hate the dry, scratchy feeling of line-dried clothes.

3) Humidity means that your clothes can grow mold/mildew quicker than you'd expect.

4) Birds and lizards poop on your clothes and that just means another round of washing.

5) Nobody wants to see my boxers from their dining room window while they're having breakfast.

6) It's raining.

Quote: DaButt @ May 11 2011, 2:22 PM BST

1) I don't think outside clothes lines are allowed in my community. They're considered an eyesore and very few people in this country even own one.

As written on the gravestone of planet Earth.

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