British Comedy Guide

Terrifying men's magazines

From the women's magazines thread:

Quote: lofthouse @ May 8 2011, 9:54 PM BST

Most lads mags are devoted to the adoration of women

sexy naked ones maybe, but all the same

whereas womens mags are devoted to the hatred of men

Are they?
Men's mags don't make me feel adored!
They make me feel that men only like fake plastic women who have little in common with normal human ones.

It's not just women's mags that are full of old tripe in my opinion. :)

That's rubbish just ask Mrs Sootyj

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Actually I kid you're right. FHM and Loaded used to be quite funny and ironic, more like Viz really. They've just degenerated into dreary soft core porn for lads in denial and who don't trust their internet security.

Women's mags are I suppose at least tangentally about the real world.

N.B. where does this leave good old Bizarre?

I'll start off by saying that I haven't picked up an FHM or Loaded in at least a decade but I remember they used to at least have some decent writers contributing to them. Charlie Brooker for one. Not sure the same can be said for Grazia.

Quote: sootyj @ May 9 2011, 12:33 PM BST

N.B. where does this leave good old Bizarre?

I know a Bizarre writer and she's a very funny stand-up.

I think partly it's that magazines have had their hey day. What with first the internet and now ipads etc with magazine apps. The idea of picking up a newspaper or magazine is getting more dated.

Quote: David Bussell @ May 9 2011, 12:34 PM BST

I know a Bizarre writer and she's a very funny stand-up.

I'm sure for all the descent into fetish porn it's always been a very funny, well written magazine. Often the best bits have been on outsider artists, or obscure scifi writers of the 30s.

But you can't read it on the Clapham Omnibus as people will think you're reading the Latex/pony/fetish photoshoot. Or the autobiography of CHarles Manson's fluffer.

Quote: zooo @ May 9 2011, 12:28 PM BST

From the women's magazines thread:

Are they?
Men's mags don't make me feel adored!
They make me feel that men only like fake plastic women who have little in common with normal human ones.

It's not just women's mags that are full of old tripe in my opinion. :)

Ah, but they're not men's mags, they're lads mags, there's a difference.

Quote: zooo @ May 9 2011, 12:28 PM BST

Men's mags don't make me feel adored!
They make me feel that men only like fake plastic women who have little in common with normal human ones.

No phony plastic birds in Bacon Busters, only genuine boar shooting babes.

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Quote: Vader @ May 9 2011, 1:58 PM BST

Ah, but they're not men's mags, they're lads mags, there's a difference.

True. There are lots of different types of 'women's magazines' too. From those cheapo ones with the mentalist stories, to ones about crochet, and fashion mags that cost about £6 each.

Is that an Australian magazine? I thought it was all marsupials, crocodiles, snakes and spiders over there.

Posing with dead mammals doesn't seem right to me though.

Quote: Vader @ May 9 2011, 2:11 PM BST

Is that an Australian magazine? I thought it was all marsupials, crocodiles, snakes and spiders over there.

Factoid from Bacon Busters: Pigs inhabit every continent except Antarctica. I picked up a few issues of Bacon Busters for 10 cents apiece in a charity shop last week and it has become my favourite mag.

There's a difference between domesticated pigs and wild boar though, if a continent didn't have pigs you could take your own, but introducing wild animals into ecosystems they weren't meant to be a part of can be a bad idea, even if it can be done - just look at bull frogs! I think it's bull frogs, or was it cane toads?

Quote: Vader @ May 9 2011, 2:43 PM BST

if a continent didn't have pigs you could take your own, but introducing wild animals into ecosystems they weren't meant to be a part of can be a bad idea

Essentially the premise of the film Razorback.

yeh but pigs taste great and with a little effort we can eat them all

Quote: Timbo @ May 9 2011, 2:48 PM BST

Essentially the premise of the film Razorback.

Is it? I haven't seen that one, is any good?

Quote: sootyj @ May 9 2011, 2:50 PM BST

yeh but pigs taste great and with a little effort we can eat them all

Haha, I like your thinking.

Quote: Vader @ May 9 2011, 2:59 PM BST

Is it? I haven't seen that one, is any good?

Razorback was rubbish, Jaws on legs in Australia; but it has magnificent scenery/camerawork, Hancock's sidekick Bill Kerr and a brief scene of gratuitous female nudity. It has the distinction of being directed by the same guy who directed The Vapors' clip for Turning Japanese, Pete and Dud's Derek and Clive Get the Horn and Highlander.

Quote: Vader @ May 9 2011, 2:43 PM BST

I think it's bull frogs, or was it cane toads?

Cane toads were introduced to Australia in the 1850s because they are the natural predator of grey squirrels, which were in plague proportions at that time, having been brought over by Chinese prospectors during the gold rush. Sure, the cane toads exterminated the squirrels but they then became a menace themselves, destroying vast swathes of Australia's tropical rain forests.

Quote: sootyj @ May 9 2011, 12:33 PM BST

That's rubbish just ask Mrs Sootyj

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Its Lily Cole again

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