Hi guys, this is my first script, id really appreciate any feedback. Its called Popmen and its about father and son on a pop round.
Popmen Sitcom
Welcome to the site Oliver. I will read this properly later but I would remove your personal details from the front of your script ASAP!
Its all changed now anyway lol. Thank you for your welcome 
Well done for posting up here Oliver. I read the first 10 pages and skimmed the rest because I'm afraid it just didn't grab me. I couldn't see what the plot was and their wasn't really much interaction between the characters to drive it.
Don't worry though because comedy is so subjective others on here may give you differing opinions (I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination but there are some really clued up posters)
A small point but there are a number of typos (i instead of I etc.)
Thats ok, thanks for reading. Im not really happy with the first few pages so its something I will work on.
Hi Oliver,
Your personal details are still on the site so as advised above I'd get them removed asap or you'll have all kinds (well, maybe the odd one) of unwanted spam and cold-callers.
I also only made it a few pages in, but mostly due to it being difficult to read rather than not funny enough. The typos make it a real effort to read so get them corrected and repost if you can you'll get a lot more useful feedback. ...well alright, some ...possibly.
For the record, I liked Tristan writing 'help me' in the window condensation.