Had this idea when I got home from work today. Knocked up a powerpoint presentation and then filmed it. It's rough. It lacks quality, timing and a decent actor, but you'll get the idea.
Took about an hour and a half, from idea to YouTube.
Thought Point. You know it makes sense
Cool idea! Nice one.
As far as improving it goes the only thing that needs tweaking is, as you already noted, the timing. I think you could stretch things out more. But I did laugh out loud so that's the most important thing!
That made me laugh 
Thanks both, for the positive feedback. I know it needs a lot of work, but I'm just pleased that you found it funny.
Cheers.
Excelent especially if you're as new as you claim you are
Great idea and the timing is exclent
Just needs you to play your acting a bit more and find a stronger punchline.
Maybe if you run out and then something flashes up on the screen.
But that's one of the best things I've seen in critique in some time.
Sooty. I am as new as I say I am. It's just something I've never developed. I used to have a job that took all my time up. Since moving to an easier one, I've been trying to find my niche. My Dragons' Den ideas have so far hit the pan, but I can do funny. Only time will tell.
I believe you. Just that, that sketch is very close to professional.
Just needs a punch.
I was just thinking about the punchline. Perhaps it would be better if I wore a bluetooth headset or similar (to enhance the 'it reads your mind' bit), go off camera and then something flashes up to indicate I've ended up in a certain situation.
I've just read your last reply. You heap far too much praise on me. Maybe I got lucky ? Maybe I'll never have another good idea ?
Nah work out how you did it.
And if you write one goody in a 100 get on with the next 99 stinkers.
I could picture a punch being. That we see a bus loom up on the screen, followed by sound of noisy crash off screen.
Now you've won me another job. I've got to start amassing sound effects. 
That is a really nice idea PB. A little bit rushed by it still made me chuckle 
Aww, you didn't seem nearly as hard as you look in your profile pic, I thought you could have been a CONTENDER...
Not bad at all, though some people over egged it a bit for us late comers.
Very good PB
Quote: sootyj @ May 5 2011, 9:31 PM BSTMaybe if you run out and then something flashes up on the screen.
Perhaps something like "I've run in the storage cupboard" followed by a picture of a dog turd?
Nice one