Cheese

INT. DINNING ROOM. DAY

DAVE and MIKE are sitting at a table. In front of them is a cheeseboard with many cheeses.

MIKE is eating some cheese.

MIKE:
Hmm, honestly mate, it's really nice.

DAVE:
I said I don't like it.

MIKE:
Maybe you've never had quality cheese. Here have some of this Cornish Yarg or some of that White Stilton.

DAVE tries a bit of White Stilton. He doesn't like it

DAVE:
Argh, that's disgusting. Urrgh I told you I didn't like it.

MIKE:
Okay okay. Here I brought this just in case.

MIKE gets a mouse mask from under the table and puts it over DAVE'S head.

MIKE:
Now, have another bit.

DAVE:
I really...

MIKE:
Trust me. Just try it.

DAVE eats another piece of cheese.

DAVE:
Mmmmm actually that's really nice.

MIKE:
Told you.

DAVE:
Mmm...yeah.. really like it...mmm...seriously....yeah, good.

END.

Bit below par for you, intriguing set up but punch just didn't do the business.

Perhaps, an addition to the end, where Dave says 'By the way, your dinner is ready' and hands Mike a pig mask or similar ?

Yeah I can see that, it made me chuckle to think about it, and thought it might work in low-key kind of way. I done another one on the same kind of idea:

EXT. GARDEN. DAY.

A man (NEIL) is stuck under a fencing panel that has fallen down. He shouts for help.

NEIL:
Ben!...Ben you there? I'm stuck...Ben!

BEN comes running into the garden and tries to lift up the fence panel.

BEN:
Urh. It's too heavy. I'm going to have to get something to help with the weight. Hold on, I'll be right back.

BEN runs off.

CUT TO:

EXT. GARDEN. DAY.

NEIL is still stuck under the fence panel. BEN comes running back. He is wearing an old fashioned leopard print strong man outfit, with appropriate moustache.

NEIL lifts up the fence and BEN crawls out and stands up.

BEN:
Cheers mate. Who knows what would've happened if you weren't here.

NEIL:
No worries.

NEIL performs a Bicep curl.

END.

Quote: Park Bench @ May 3 2011, 1:03 PM BST

Perhaps, an addition to the end, where Dave says 'By the way, your dinner is ready' and hands Mike a pig mask or similar ?

View original

Something similar could work if I could think of the right mask/thing. Thanks Park Bench.

Yes. It's getting the right mask.

Perhaps the pig would be better with the line 'Oh, by the way, I've made the dinner. You might need this'.

Like the strongman leopard print thing.

Quote: Park Bench @ May 3 2011, 3:02 PM BST

Like the strongman leopard print thong.

View original

Each to their own PB!

I liked the sketches. Made me smile.

Quote: Park Bench @ May 3 2011, 3:02 PM BST

Yes. It's getting the right mask.

Perhaps the pig would be better with the line 'Oh, by the way, I've made the dinner. You might need this'.

Like the strongman leopard print thing.

View original

Quote: Marc P @ May 3 2011, 3:06 PM BST

Each to their own PB!

I liked the sketches. Made me smile.

View original

Thanks Park 'n' Marc.

That sounds like a good name for a double act!

On its own, I didn't think the cheese one was that strong, but as part of a series (and I like the strong-man sketch) I think it would work really well as it allows the joke to grow.

I liked them and idea of the transformation just by putting on a mask or outfit, clever. Im off now to put on my Alan Partridge mask so I can do something for the skit comp

"Ah yes, I have an idea for later as well, but you might need this"

HANDS DAVE A GRAHAM NORTON MASK.

Good idea, but as has been said, a weak finish.

I hope it's not against the spirit of the forum to offer suggestions, but I thought of an ending for the "Cheese" sketch:-

Dave asks what kind of cheese it is, and Mike tells him it's Tom Cheese. Dave is a little confused, but then we cut to Tom wearing a Cow mask. Moo!

Quote: evan rubivellian @ May 4 2011, 9:29 AM BST

I hope it's not against the spirit of the forum to offer suggestions, but I thought of an ending for the "Cheese" sketch:-

Dave asks what kind of cheese it is, and Mike tells him it's Tom Cheese. Dave is a little confused, but then we cut to Tom wearing a Cow mask. Moo!

View original

Now that made he laugh.

Thanks for reading and commenting Eva, Lady L, and Shandonbelle. I like the idea of bringing in a mask for the other guy, I might try expanding the sketch with that in mind but I think implying the cheese is his own, although pretty funny, takes the sketch in another direction.

Out of the two I think the strongman one is the better, but as mentioned before a few of them could make a good runner. Thanks again for all the comments.

Not his own cheese; Tom's cheese. I think it completes the logic of the joke, but it's your baby so I perfectly understand if it's not where you want to take the idea.