My first stab at writing material

My very first attempt. A few one liners. I did make a YouTube video clip, but the less said about that, the better. I've removed the ones with gratuitous swearing in them and the odd failure.

Apparently Australia are blaming a hole in the ozone layer, for drying the continent out. Nothing to do with the 2 billion cans of Foster's, they export every year...

Britain's Got Talent. Perhaps it would have been a good start to find 3 talented judges first..?

I see the price of a first class stamp has gone up again. It's not the cost of delivering the mail that has increased, but the cost to store it for two weeks, before the Royal Mail delivers it to you...

Schoolteachers are looking to go on strike, to safeguard their pensions. They want to have MY pension. I've got to work 3 years after I've died, just to pay off my mortgage..

Apparently, 400 Afghans have escaped from a secure facility, by digging a tunnel. We use all the worlds military and technical resources to catch them, then show them 'The Great Escape' DVD on a Saturday night..

PB.

3 is good the others are funny ideas but maybe you need to structure them as jokes more.

for example

" Weekly film nights of The Great Escape." suspended after 500 Taliban prisoners tunnel out of jail

Often it's better to get a good punchline and work backwards

Oh yes. I like that. It works so much better.

Ive only been writing comedy since January and the one important thing that I have picked up from posts on here re one liners is...keep em as short as is possible, other than that I liked the ideas behind them

Simple really,

1 Take everything out that isn't set up or punchline
2 Finish on punchline
3 Start with setup

All of those jokes are potentially great and just need a bit of tidying up

Yes. I can see it now. It's like tidying up a childs English homework, or that scene from the 'Bodyline' cricket drama, where the reporter changes his text from 'the line of the body' to 'bodyline' to save on the number of words he has to telegram (a bit random I know, but you get what I mean). It's a case of write the gag, then lose 50% of the words to tell it.

Dont know if you're on Twitter,that's where I and a few others on here do jokes as you have to keep them to 140 characters, concentrates the mind!

Yup comedy is brevity

I am on twitter, but never used it much. However, I've got a shiny new blackberry which lets me access it more frequently, so I'll probably use it more.

I'm going to use these first few jokes as a guide to how much I can improve. I've got a notebook (yes, actual paper !!) to scribble (being a lefty, that can be read as best handwriting) ideas down and I use the voice recorder on my phone for when things 'ping' into my head.

Is twitter used as a soundboard too, or just for daily 'throwaway' gags ?

Quote: Park Bench @ May 2 2011, 10:24 AM BST

Is twitter used as a soundboard too, or just for daily 'throwaway' gags ?

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Ive been doing jokes on there about a month and its a great soundboard, if they are liked, jokes get retweeted all over the shop! There's a thread on here with the twitter addresses of members, but I don't know how to link it , Zooo we need you ( its in Performance Discussion)

I'd echo what others have said PB but I like Amanda Holden!

Quote: Marc P @ May 2 2011, 10:33 AM BST

I'd echo what others have said PB but I like Amanda Holden!

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She's heartless on BGT

I'm thinking more of the sitcoms. The one with Caroline Quentin and her shorts.

I like Amanda too, but without going too far off topic, a woman, who could use a bit of toning, doing the splits, is not going to win. But then, what do I know.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ May 2 2011, 10:32 AM BST

There's a thread on here with the twitter addresses of members, but I don't know how to link it

View original

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/20547/

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/11934/

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/11383/

You'll need to search the entire thread(s) for Twitter names though.