Setting - The interior of a wine bar.
Background Noise - Continuous sounds of other customers at the bar.
(Start with a few seconds of background noise to establish the setting)
HUGH
Hi. Can I get you a drink?
JANE
Uh (thinks) Sure. I'll have a glass of white wine.
HUGH
No problem. Before I get it, could you just sign this please.
SE - RUSTLE OF PAPER
JANE
What is it?
HUGH
Just a standard agreement that by accepting the drink you promise to talk to me for at least ten minutes. I mean, this isn't a cheap place and it's going to cost me at least a fiver, so I think ten minutes is an agreeable length of time.
JANE
Do I have to enjoy it?
HUGH
Not at all. If you look just below the part that specifies how many times I can ogle your cleavage it says you can be as bored as you like, but does urge you to look at least politely interested.
JANE
Well, it seems okay, but what if we actually get on and decide to take it further.
HUGH
To be honest that's unlikely, as I am in fact a very dull person. However, if you look at clause seventeen, subsection C, it does state that if you do find yourself in a position where you want to play hide the sausage with me, you must provide the relevant sexual health documents. I take it you have them with you?
JANE
Of course.
SE - RUSTLE OF PAPER
JANE
My last check up was two weeks ago, but I should warn you that I have slept with three men since then.
HUGH
Bit of a slapper, eh?
JANE
Oh yes.
HUGH
(happy) Excellent! Right, well I'll just go and get you that glass of wine.
HUGH SNEEZES VIOLENTLY
JANE:
Are you okay?
HUGH:
God, that was a nasty one. Hang on a minute - have you got a cat?
JANE:
Yes, I've got twelve of them. Why?
HUGH:
I'm horrendously allergic. Look, sorry, but I'm going to have to bail on you here. No hard feelings?
JANE:
Not at all. See you around.
HUGH:Cheers then. (His voice fades into the distance) Hello there! Can I buy you a drink...
