Rupert the Menace

DENNIS THE MENACE IS SITTING OPPOSITE RUPERT MURDOCH IN AN OFFICE
GNASHER IS BY HIS FEET

RUPERT
Denise how long have you been editing the Beano for me?

DENNIS
About, about, about 10 years Sir Rupert.

RUPERT SLAPS DENNIS

RUPERT
They haven't made me a Sir yet ya mangy stripy jumpered pomp.

DENNIS
Sorry master, but 10 years.

RUPERT
Just wait till I own a controlling 45% stake in the royal family.

DENNIS
May the day come soon overlord

RUPERT
Shut it you tousle haired homo. About these stories Lord Snooty likes a spanked booty, The Crack Street Kids, Minnie the lesbian minx?

DENNIS
We can't compete with Viz or the Sun they can both use proper swear words and show naked boobies.

RUPERT
You little bastard you've been tapping the phone lines of our cartoon characters

DENNIS
Yes but.

RUPERT
But what?

DENNIS
You wanted me didn't you. I mean you gave me the phone number for a private detective, the pamphlet "why I like listening to other people's conversations" you wrote and that memo "tap all the Beano's characters phones or I'll kick your bloody arse."

RUPERT SNATCHES MEMO AND STICKS IT IN A SHREDDER

RUPERT
Circumstantial. But with my troubles at the bloody News of the World I need a flaming scape goat. And I don't mean Gertie Goat. Sienna Miller is stealing the bloody Fosters from my fridge. Bitch

DENNIS
Well Overlord if you insist, I guess I have no choice but to resign.

RUPERT
Don't be a flaming moron I need my editor. No Gnasher you're fired.

RUPERT PICKS GNASHER UP AND KICKS HIM OUT OF THE WINDOW.

That is truly awful.

Lady Laughter's comments are more truly awful. She does not submit to our wit, therefore 'its' comments are unfit.

I don't seem to subit to Sooty's wit, anyway.

You want critique?

It's simply not a funny sketch. It comes accross as something written by a teenager. It's very immature, playing up an insulting sterotype with Murdoch, and the attempt to meld the worlds of The Sun and The Beano just doesn't work comedically.

I think there's a good idea in there Soots but you need to change the angle slightly.

Good premise having Dennis the Menace and Murdoch, but needed a lighter/more comic feel to it Id say

Final submitted version

DENNIS THE MENACE IS SITTING OPPOSITE RUPERT MURDOCH IN AN OFFICE
GNASHER IS BY HIS FEET

RUPERT
Denise how long have you been editing the Beano for me?

DENNIS
About, about 10 years Sir Rupert.

RUPERT SLAPS DENNIS

RUPERT
They haven't made me a Sir yet ya mangy stripy jumpered pomp. Just wait till I own a controlling 45% stake in the royal family.

DENNIS
May the day come soon overlord

RUPERT
Shut it you tousle haired wooftah. About these stories; Lord Snooty likes a spanked booty, The Crack Street Kids, Minnie the lesbian minx?

DENNIS
I'm sorry overlord. We can't compete with Viz or the Sun. They can both use proper swear words and show naked boobies.

RUPERT
I don't care about that you little bastard. It's that you've been tapping the phone lines of our cartoon characters

DENNIS
Yes but.

RUPERT
But what?

DENNIS
You wanted me to tape them didn't you. I mean you gave me the phone number for a private detective, the pamphlet "why I like listening to other people's conversations" you wrote and that memo "tap all the Beano's characters phones or I'll kick your bloody arse."

RUPERT SNATCHES MEMO AND STICKS IT IN A SHREDDER

RUPERT
Circumstantial. But with my troubles at the bloody News of the World I need a flaming scape goat to avoid another scandal. And I don't mean Gertie Goat. Sienna Miller is stealing the bloody Fosters from my fridge. Bitch

DENNIS
Well Overlord if you insist, I guess I have no choice but to resign.

RUPERT
Don't be a flaming moron I need my editor. No Gnasher it's you that's fired.

RUPERT PICKS GNASHER UP AND KICKS HIM OUT OF THE WINDOW.

Like what you've done with it sooty.

Thanks it's very much a Ronseal sketch, though I wish I'd played up Dennis's character a bit

I liked it, didn't get sienna stealing lager mind, but then that is just me probably.

Is it for NewsRevue?

I guess the Sienna line is like an aussie version of 'taking the food out of the mouth of my children. If it did need clarifying you could always have Dennis ask the question like I did, I suppose??

It's for that topical pilot thingumy but more likely news revue

and you're right about the Sienna line, seemed like a spin on bread from my mouth.

I'd have thought most people would get what you meant, for what it's worth.

I do like the edit.
And the idea of phonetapping other Cartoon characters appealed.

Quote: Vader @ April 19 2011, 9:27 PM BST

I'd have thought most people would get what you meant, for what it's worth.

View original

Well that;s mean, it is worth something.

Quote: Lady Laughter @ April 17 2011, 2:16 PM BST

That is truly awful.

View original

I tend to agree.

Weak dialogue, poor premise, a tenuous link to a current political scandal haphazardly crowbarred into an unfunny sketch. Other than that, I liked it.