My 8 year old lad had been coming back from school for weeks with piles and piles of homework, he's been permanently stuck at his desk and not once had chance to get outside.
I finally cracked when the paperwork he was bringing back was'nt slowing down so I contacted the school to tell them what I thought. Turned out he'd been playing cops n robbers in his lunch times, NEEDLESS TO SAY HE HAD BEEN PLAYING THE COPPER.
Took me 2 or 3 reads to get that. A bit too subtle I'm afraid.
Not bad, but definitely tricky to get laughs if used onstage as people may not get it.
Good idea, need to heavily edit it though.
DAD: What's with all the paper work son?
SON: I'm playing cops n robbers.
Agree with Leevil, much better.
Aw.
Agree with Nil on this one.
I agree with Steve
Cheers all,
Have re-edited slightly as highlighted in caps to make the punch more obvious.
Better?
Thx again
Get it now 
I liked it. YOu could even develop it more I reckon.
Thx shannon I hope the fits endless fits of lughter won't affect the rest of your day.
And cheers Marc, when you say develop it do you mean add other related punches or extend the joke with the same single punchline?
Rgds
Quote: another40winks @ April 19 2011, 11:19 AM BSTThx shannon I hope the fits endless fits of lughter won't affect the rest of your day.
And cheers Marc, when you say develop it do you mean add other related punches or extend the joke with the same single punchline?
Rgds
I meant develop the theme, next week it was doctors and nurses and he didn't sleep for 48 hours but then he was the intern or something funny. Cowboys and Indians. Maybe not lol. is it for stand up?
This week he was in trouble for doing a shoddy tarmac job and charging two thousand quid... I've warned him about playing cowboys.