British Comedy Guide

The Arch Villain

A MAN IS HAVING AN INTERVIEW TO BECOME AN ARCH VILLAIN

INT:
Hello Sir,Come in, sit down. So your applying for the role of Arch Villain?

VILLAIN:
That's right yes. Here I've filled in all the forms.

INT:
Filled in the forms eh? Excellent! You'd be surprised how many of the applicants just fill the room with purple smoke & steal the certificate.

VILLAIN:
Surely that's cheating?

INT:
Well they are Villains I suppose, they often like to hit the ground running as it were. Right now, first things first you'll need a costume, it can be ostentatious or just tight fitting, the choice is yours.

VILLAIN:
Well actually this is my costume.

INT:
It's a bit bland isn't it? You need something that makes you stand out.

VILLAIN:
Why would I want to stand out?

INT:
Sounds like someone just wants to be an ordinary Villain.

VILLAIN:
No No I definitely want to be an Arch Villain. I just don't want to be too conspicuous, I don't want to get foiled by any Superheroes if I can help it.

INT:
Yes but you must understand that as an Arch villain you will be required to be
foiled from time to time.

VILLAIN:
Can I at least try my best not to?

INT:
Yes of course, so what's your Quirk going to be.

VILLAIN:
Quirk?

INT:
Yes you know, your style, your thing, what sort of traps do you set what kind of Clues do you leave?

VILLAIN:
If I leave Clues then I will be more likely to be foiled and as I've already said that's not really part of my masterplan.

INT:
Oh you've got a masterplan well that's something at least.

VILLAIN:
Well It's not really a plan, I just want to work on a bit of General Villainy and if it goes well then I'll probably be looking at Global domination opportunities over the next two or three years.
.
INT:
So if your application is successful what would you be calling yourself?

VILLAIN:
Well my name's Barry

INT:
Yes! by day you are Barry, but by night you are...

VILLAIN:
Still Barry, just a bit sleepier

INT:
No you need a proper name like The Riddler or the Joker.

VILLAIN:
Ok How about I call myself that guy who never gets caught by wearing bright clothing leaving clues or trying to set traps for flipping Superheroes.

INT:
That'll never fit on an outfit even if we abbreviate and you know it!

VILLAIN:
To be honest I didn't think it would be as difficult this.

INT:
I'm sorry but we can't just accept anyone, being an Arch Villain takes years of planning, malice & occasional campness.

VILLAIN:
Would it be ok if I just did the purple smoke thing?

INT:
If you wouldn't mind, it does save on the Paperwork

I like it, nice turn of phrase and pacing.

:)
Thank you.
Cheers for reading.

Not your best Steve.

I'm afraid for me it never quite overcomes the problem of the very first line. Who is doing the interview for an arch villain? That's a funny idea in itself but the fact you left it hanging left me less interested in the rest of it.

Quote: Nil Putters @ April 17 2011, 11:21 PM BST

Not your best Steve.

:)
Cheers.
Unforunately I've got worse than this waiting to be finished or scrapped.

HI Steve the idea is quite good. They do it in Venture Bros with the Guild of calamitous intent.

But as for structure it's to long in my opinion, I love the "so just a normal villan" line. That was good just was a bit fluffy needs trimming. :)

Quote: Badge @ April 17 2011, 11:30 PM BST

I'm afraid for me it never quite overcomes the problem of the very first line. Who is doing the interview for an arch villain? That's a funny idea in itself but the fact you left it hanging left me less interested in the rest of it.

That didn't occur to me, thanks for the feedback.
:)

I liked this one Steve.

Okay, as others have said a bit of a trim but certainly not one to chuck in the bin.

Reading it I simply thought Mitchell and Webb.

I thought Monty and Python.

I like this a lot of fun building upto a solid punch based in character

Thanks guys
Cheers for taking look.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ April 17 2011, 11:13 PM BST

INT:
So if your application is successful what would you be calling yourself?

VILLAIN:
Well my name's Barry

INT:
Yes! by day you are Barry, but by night you are...

VILLAIN:
Still Barry, just a bit sleepier

Loved this exchange Ste :)

I liked this sketch as well.

Cheers Gerry & Nigel.
:)
I may not bin it just yet.

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