Onions 2

NICK CLEGG AND DAVE CAMERON ARE TALKING INFRONT OF A LARGE AUDIENCE IN A CATHEDRAL WE CAN ONLY SEE THEM FROM THE NECK UP

DAVE
That cheap middle class, millionaire, scrubber. I knew she'd do this to me, me and the whole country.

NICK
Dave how were you to know Kate wasn't annorexic and was only trying to get thin enough to slip out of the tower.

DAVE
Don't call me Dave you oik.

NICK
Sorry head boy, but are you sure this is the only solution?

DAVE
The people of England demand a lovely power couple have a lovely romantic marriage and that's just what they're going to get .

PULL BACK TO REVEAL NICK AND DAVE ARE AT THE ALTAR NICK IN A BIG WHITE DRESS

DAVE
Now put your damned veil on darling.

VICAR
Does anyone have any lawful objection to why this couple can not be married.

VINCE CABLE STANDS UP IN THE CONGREGATION
RAISES HIS FINGER AS IF TO SAY SOMETHING
THEN SITS BACK DOWN IN SILENCE HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS

Quote: Nil Putters @ April 16 2011, 1:49 PM BST

not very funny. Soz.

View original

Nils if you don't like any of my stuff why do you keep reading it?

That's a bit unfair sooty. https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/post/750374/

I read them to give feedback, good or bad. Shall I not bother? It makes no difference to me.

In fairness a bit of rarity.

I just generally ignore peoples works I persistently dislike.

Ok.

Will you be telling Godot not to read your stuff too? He didn't like the ones I've commented on either.

Thanks, you've annoyed me now.

Well I score a hit of one and three with him.

Which is why I respect his opinion.

Sorry to have annoyed you.

I always view critique as a mutual process. I've been criticised for being unduly harsh in the past.

Quote: sootyj @ April 16 2011, 9:24 PM BST

I just generally ignore peoples works I persistently dislike.

View original

I love to dislike people's work persistently!

It is the Crtique forum, so opinion is invited. If 3 out of 100 people liked your sketch and only they posted, you would have a very skewed idea of it's worthiness.

So...

This is not very funny. Spitting Image may have been able to make something siilar work, but it would have been better.

Can I ask why you wrote it? It's not like anyone could ever use it, as it is using real people.

How odd, it's just that there's about half a dozen outlets for topical material mentioning famous people by name.

nb Lady Laughter this is the only time I'm going to adress your comments.

I get such a giddy sense of dejavu when I read them.

nnb one of the tricks with critique is looking for the views to take on board. Positive or negative generally it's that which has suggestions I look out for.

Quote: sootyj @ April 17 2011, 2:55 PM BST

How odd, it's just that there's about half a dozen outlets for topical material mentioning famous people by name.

View original

Uh... it doesn't mention famous people by name - it features them in person, which is a big difference.

My opinions are honest, nothing more. I have posted positive comments elsewhere, but your work is substandard, or at least what I have read. Have you sold sketches to TV/radio shows in the past?