Quote: sootyj @ April 16 2011, 12:36 AM BSTBetter off doing a funny version of a normal song or writing you're own.
Do one of the songs I suggested,(or similar) change the lyrics slightly so they are a bit naughty and mention the bride to be's name, but keep the recognisable tune so they can sing and dance along with it.
Also any geezer singing a Victoria Wood song will be suspected of having a major, major kink.
Quote: Nat Wicks @ April 16 2011, 12:32 AM BSTIn the same way that you probably wouldn't get arrested for shitting in your manager's desk drawer, but you certainly wouldn't be getting promotions any time some.
I couldn't disagree with you more. Every other week I hear about an act who isn't getting gig off some promoter or another because they have ripped off someone elses' material. It is a VERY big deal on the stand up circuit.
And if you carry on, I will punch you in the throat.
Yeah, but it must be difficult not to nick other stand-ups' material, given that 99& of you lot have basically the same 7 or so jokes between you? These, of course, being - "What is it with you men?...", "What is it with you women?...", "My girlfriend and I split up...", "My boyfriend and I split up...", "So I was watching a porn movie, having a wank...", "So I was on the internet, having a wank..." and "So I was watching my own needy reflection in a mirror, having a wank...".
Tim it's like a cocktail you have to combine all the features.
So that routine would go
"What's up with you men and women? My boyfriend and girlfriend split up with me because I made a porn film of them wanking on the internet and put it in the Daily Mirror and then I had a wank."
See f**king hilarious.
Quote: AngieBaby @ April 16 2011, 12:40 AM BSTDo one of the songs I suggested,(or similar) change the lyrics slightly so they are a bit naughty and mention the bride to be's name, but keep the recognisable tune so they can sing and dance along with it.
THiiiiisssss.
Quote: Tim Walker @ April 16 2011, 12:45 AM BSTYeah, but it must be difficult not to nick other stand-ups' material, given that 99& of you lot have basically the same 7 or so jokes between the lot of you? These, of course, being - "What is it with you men?...", "What is it with you women?...", "My girlfriend and I split up...", "My boyfriend and I split up...", "So I was watching a porn movie, having a wank...", "So I was on the internet, having a wank..." and "So I was watching my own needy reflection in a mirror, having a wank...".
Just 'cause you're a man of medicine doesn't mean I won't cut your hands off.
Quote: Nat Wicks @ April 16 2011, 12:54 AM BSTJust 'cause you're a man of medicine doesn't mean I won't cut your hands off.
I first heard this brilliant put-down when I heckled Dennis Nilsen during his brief stand-up career. You really should have asked his permission, Nat. 
In fairness, stand-up comedians do have strict morals. For example, many won't spike a girl's drink with a date-rape drug until they're actually agreed to go on a date.
Quote: sootyj @ April 16 2011, 12:51 AM BSTTim it's like a cocktail you have to combine all the features.
So that routine would go
"What's up with you men and women? My boyfriend and girlfriend split up with me because I made a porn film of them wanking on the internet and put it in the Daily Mirror and then I had a wank."
See f**king hilarious.
Quote: Tim Walker @ April 16 2011, 1:04 AM BSTI first heard this brilliant put-down when I heckled Dennis Nilsen during his brief stand-up career. You really should have asked his permission, Nat.
If that's true, then I am genuinely delighted. If not, I'm digging out my craft knives.
Denis Nilsen for a man who blocked drains with human fat, he was incredibly obsessed with what American's watched on TV.
Quote: Nat Wicks @ April 16 2011, 1:05 AM BSTIf that's true, then I am genuinely delighted. If not, I'm digging out my craft knives.
You do know who Denis Nilsen was?? Lovely neighbour but I wouldn't borrow one of his saucepans.
Disgusting pork fat!, Oh my god!
Er, surely a busker busks? Or am I naive in thinking he hasn't paid Bob Dylan and Ralph MacTell for every time he's wailed out their classic warblings? Morning.
But can't really help you with which song to do, the only vaguely appropriate one I can think of now is I'm Henry The Eighth I Am. Hmm, could work.
Morning Alfred better go to bed now as I have had a bit of a rant! 'OH'err missus', nevermind.
Could do 'When I'm Cleaning windows' with a bit of personal stuff?
I think the naked busker would do very well as a window cleaner, he wouldn't need the squeegy bottle would he, and he's got his own inbuilt ladder tie. Morning, nite.
Quote: The Naked Busker @ April 15 2011, 8:23 PM BSTsomethingthat's naughty but nice and fairly easy to play as I only have a week to rehearse.
If you simply write the lyrics here to a song you do know, you'll find that people will willingly rewrite it into the theme you want; and you already know the tune anyway.
Er... the guys a busker. Buskers don't do their own material ever. Well bloody rarely. It's a hen night somewhere - not a stand up comedy gig. He'll be fine doing whatever he wants I should imagine. Plus he's naked. He needs the covers.
Dunno if any of you guys have actually bothered to look into Donnie's act, but he performs original comedy songs and straight stand up at stand up comedy gigs.