Escape To The Suburbs
A family are driving through Bristol.
Father
God, it's so good to get out of the country.
Mother
You can almost smell the smog can't you.
Son
There aren't any fields here..isn't there even one field?
Mother
Of course not dear, this is Bristol.
Daughter
Bristol, yay!
The family are now walking away from a car park. The son, dressed in farmers clothes and carrying a spade, is sulking. The others are dressed in sharp suits. The younger daughter is clutching a briefcase.
Daughter
I can't believe that it took us THREE hours to park.
Mother
Exciting isn't it dear.
Father
I think that's a family record, isn't it Dan?
Son
Aren't there ANY sheep here?
Mother
I love seeing all the cars when you drive into Bristol.
The family arrive at a set of steps.
Father
Alright kids, we're going to have a stroll up the tower blocks, you potter around the suburbs for a bit and we'll all meet up to go into the city centre.
The parents begin to job up the steps and the teenagers wander on, passing a pool of oil.
Daughter
Awww, look at how it glistens.
Son
Yeah, great.
Daughter
Come on, let's go and find a BUS.
The daughter runs off.
Son
Sophie, come back!
The parents are staggering up the steps, panting. They stop for a drink.
Wife
Goodness, I'd forgotten what treks these things were.
Father
Yes, the smell of urine can be refreshing but it does get bit...
A drunk stumbles by.
Father
And there's just too many people.
Wife
Well, we'll get to the top and then go down on the elevator.
Father
Can't do that, it's out of order.
Wife
Oh, shit!
The son is chasing the daughter along a street.
Son
Sophie, slow down.
Daughter
Whee..oh wow, wet cement!
Son
Sophie, no!
The daughter stands, covered in wet cement. She spits some of it out and laughs.
Daughter
It smells so fresh!
The parents trudge wearily down the steps and into the street, just as the disgruntled son arrives with the cement-slathered daughter arrives. They eye eachother and turn silently back towards the car. They reach it, and see that it's covered in deep scratches.
Son
Great, we got KEYED. Nice holiday dad, good idea.
We see the family driving through the country.
Mother
Well, if nothing else it was an experience.
Daughter
Wait til' I tell Mr Mcdonald that I was turned into a PAVEMENT.
End