Voice Recognition

Thanks again everyone, I've had a little re-write, made it more radio-friendly and took out the threesome. But is it an improvement?

JENNY: I downloaded this New App today.

DAVE: Oh, yeah, right.

IPOD VOICE: 'UNINTERESTED'

DAVE: What was that?

JENNY: 'Your True Feelings'

DAVE: What are you on about?

IPOD VOICE: 'BORED'

JENNY: It's this New App, it analyses your voice and interprets your emotions.

DAVE: That's impossible.

IPOD VOICE: 'SUSPICIOUS'

JENNY: Well it sounds pretty accurate to me.

DAVE: Turn it off, that's not fair.

IPOD VOICE: 'INDIGNATION MIXED WITH FEAR'

JENNY: Have you got something to hide?

DAVE: No, I just don't want you reading my mind with software you downloaded from iTunes!

IPOD VOICE: 'PANIC MIXED WITH GUILT'

WAITER: You folks ready for dessert?

IPOD VOICE: 'ARROUSED'

DAVE: What? No...

JENNY: Oh my God, I've never been so...

IPOD VOICE: 'EMBARRESSED'

WAITER: I'll come back....

DAVE: Switch that Off!

IPOD VOICE: 'ANGRY'

JENNY: Angry? I spent 79p on this bloody App, and all it picks up on is me!

ORIGINAL

INT: RESTAURANT

JENNY: Happy Birthday!

DAVE: Oh right, yeah, birthday.

IPOD VOICE: 'DISINTERESTED'

DAVE: What was that?

JENNY: I didn't say anything, it was you...

DAVE: Really?

IPOD VOICE: 'BORED'

JENNY: It's this new App that analyses your voice and interprets your emotions.

DAVE: That's impossible.

IPOD VOICE: 'SUSPICIOUS'

JENNY: Well it sounds pretty accurate to me.

DAVE: Turn it off, that's not fair.

IPOD VOICE: 'INDIGNATION MIXED WITH FEAR'

JENNY: Have you got something to hide?

DAVE: No, I just don't want you reading my mind with software you downloaded from iTunes!

IPOD VOICE: 'PANIC MIXED WITH GUILT'

JENNY: I'll put it away once you open your present.

JENNY HANDS DAVE AN ENVELOPE.

DAVE: At least it's not an iPod.

JENNY: No, it's an I.O.U for the one thing you've always wanted.

DAVE: You're giving me a threesome for my birthday?

IPOD VOICE: 'EXCITED'

JENNY: All you've got to do is pick someone.

ENTER WAITER

WAITER: You folks ready for dessert?

IPOD VOICE: 'ARROUSED'

DAVE: What? No, I'm so...

IPOD VOICE: 'ANGRY'

JENNY: You're angry? I spent 79p on this bloody App, and all it picks up is me!

Nice twist. But being a pedant, may I refer you to: http://www.dailywritingtips.com/disinterested-not-the-same-as-uninterested/

Shit Kenneth, you beat me to it you pedantic f**k.

This is a brilliant sketch up to the threesome bit which is unbelievable and doesn't give a good pay off in my view.

It needs a swifter less complicated ending, but I think you could get a few sketches out of this idea, it's so good.

Very good.

To point out the shortcomings of the nerd who wrote the app would be unrespectful.

Very clever idea, and the execution I think works.

Quote: Griff @ April 10 2011, 12:12 PM BST

See the OED:

http://oxforddictionaries.com/view/entry/m_en_gb0231200#m_en_gb0231200

which allows 'uninterested' as a secondary meaning of 'disinterested'.

View original

Oops. I crucified an unfortunate English teacher back in high school for 'misusing' disinterested. I'll stick with disinterested meaning impartial, much as I stick with 'electrocuted' meaning 'killed by electricity' despite its increasingly widespread misuse as a synonym for 'non-lethal electric shock'.

Excellent

Thanks for the feedback, much appreciated and taken on board. Will work on making it a bit less complicated.

Good call on the uninterested/disinterested, will amend.

Quote: Griff @ April 10 2011, 11:54 AM BST

It's not quite the same idea as your sketch, but Mitchell and Webb did something slightly similar about gizmos picking up on emotions:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqSfrB8P-a0

Which means you and TMAWL are thinking alike, so that's good

View original

I loved that M&W sketch, and any comparison to them makes me happy.

Quote: Godot Taxis @ April 10 2011, 12:03 PM BST

This is a brilliant sketch up to the threesome bit which is unbelievable

View original

What? You've never been given a threesome for your birthday?

I liked this a lot Angie, very clever

Add me to the like list Angie Nice idea, nicely done.

Bumped due to re-write.

I preferred the original, Angie. I thought you were hinting at her not realising the app was detecting his attraction to the waiter in the original and instead confusing her own feelings with what the app was picking up on. The new version seems a bit less interesting and more straight forward for it.