The temperature in this apple pie is equal to molten lava. Could go my way, could go yours.....
Quote: chipolata @ February 17 2011, 5:52 PM BSTIt might be that one I had on Shoot The Writers. About the appocalypse.
Shoot The Writers. Loved it.
There were a couple of things in that show that I really loved......
Quote: TopBanana @ April 6 2011, 3:01 PM BSTShoot The Writers. Loved it.
I remember watching that show a few times. Dear god.
Loved it because it was quite awful at times.
Stephen Fry did a brilliant one regarding buttercups/buttocks on A Bit of Fry and Laurie.
Doesn't work written down though!
"I stooped to pick a buttercup. Why people leave buttocks lying around I'll never know."
case proven? 
My personal favourite is in Peep Show when Jeremy is eating a dog called Mummy, claiming it is turkey. When the owner finds the dog's collar Jez says: "Mummy is probably the turkey's nickname. It could easily be!"
"you mean you don't know what watersports are"
"i believe weve established that!!"
"well its when people relieve themselves on each other"
long pause....
"did you know; that there are no dutch elms left in Britain. Completely wiped out.....Disgusting, absolutely disgusting"
Lynn: "Perhaps those people were caught short?"
"They do it on purpose Lynn!"
classic Partridge!
The soup sketch! Julie Walters at her absolute finest!
One of my favourite Frankie boyle jokes...
"Watching queer eye for the straight guy made me think that if I hung out with gay guys they'd give me fashion tips. In actual fact, they f**ked me."
Alan Partridges hand-over to Dave Clifton where the punchline is
"read the small print on your CONE-TRACT"
hehe!!
Jelly-copter - Chris Barrie
builder to a partridge:
"I didn't know you were a raver!"
"I'm not, I'm straight"
Again Alan Partridge to awkward spinster feminist 'ER not very communicative
tonight Ms.Griffin?' reply, 'Er didn't quite understand your question'
Alan; 'Oh my god, who the hell got her on here? she is probably on her bloody period or something'.
Remember falling over laughing!
There's a bit in the paper about Stand-up comedians favourite jokes and most of them are not that brilliant.
However there is one that I just cannot understand and I don't think I'm that thick - honestly!
Q. What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?
A. Nacho cheese.
Eh? Can someone explain it to me?