British Comedy Guide

Where are all the new ideas? Page 4

Quote: Marc P @ April 5 2011, 11:33 AM BST

Well in fairness 3 mins wasn't much of a chance!

OK you've got an hour tops.

(Hopes your post referred to my idea or else this post means nothing)

Quote: sootyj @ April 5 2011, 11:34 AM BST

They work undercover in a garden centre and eschew guns always punching the victims out. They also only enforce the law on a Saturday night and have their victims taken away in a van.

"And and Deckings Saturday Night Takeaway!"

Now where's my contract, 50 grand and cocaine?

OK Sooty I'm looking for a co-writer. Give me £40,000 and you're on the team.

90-10 split may way. Fair enough?

Quote: Blenkinsop @ April 5 2011, 11:30 AM BST

Anybody who might want to back this idea that I have for a new show then please PM me.

It's a new vehicle (probably invisible if we get the CGI budget in place) starring Ant & Dec who are a quirky crime-fighting duo based in Hoddesdon. They work for James Nesbitt who's a sort of Professionals-esque George Cowley character.

They're both Mavericks who ignore the rule book, have issues in their private lives like maybe trying to deal with child-minding costs that are spiralling upwards out of control, and each has an alcoholic crack-addicted wife too.

Every episode ends with the boys saying "Mind how you go"

Anybody?

Aww, come on guys...

This is gold dust I tells yah!

OK, I'm off to the BBC and don't say you weren't given a chance.

You read my sitcom mission entry. See. I was right. There are no new ideas.

Quote: KLRiley @ April 5 2011, 11:36 AM BST

You read my sitcom mission entry. See. I was right. There are no new ideas.

I'll see you in court.

I've been touting this round now for ten years. You didn't used to work for Touchstone Pictures did you? They took at least two days before sending it back to me. More than ample time for somebody to get a bit nifty with the photocopier.

Quote: Blenkinsop @ April 5 2011, 11:44 AM BST

I'll see you in court.

I've been touting this round now for ten years. You didn't used to work for Touchstone Pictures did you? They took at least two days before sending it back to me. More than ample time for somebody to get a bit nifty with the photocopier.

No, but I did used to work for Cannon. I can make a photocopier dance. Which is a good way of livening up a very dull party.

I was thinking of a show set in a time when the police are suffering massive shortages, which encourages a psychopath to become a vigilante and take the law into his own hands, with terrible consequences. He tortures his victims by ramming a small effigy of the PM up their arses, whilst muttering his catchphrase "enjoy the big society".

Quote: KLRiley @ April 5 2011, 11:49 AM BST

No, but I did used to work for Cannon. I can make a photocopier dance. Which is a good way of livening up a very dull party.

Yeah, but I bet you used to beat them with whips to make them perform for you and your friends. This kind of thing disgusts me.

I've seen adverts looking for funding to fix them after you and your like have thrown them on the scrapheap once you've had your sick fun.

Quote: Nogget @ April 5 2011, 11:53 AM BST

I was thinking of a show set in a time when the police are suffering massive shortages, which encourages a psychopath to become a vigilante and take the law into his own hands, with terrible consequences. He tortures his victims by ramming a small effigy of the PM up their arses, whilst muttering his catchphrase "enjoy the big society".

It's got legs IMO

Quote: Blenkinsop @ April 5 2011, 11:56 AM BST

Yeah, but I bet you used to beat them with whips to make them perform for you and your friends. This kind of thing disgusts me.

I've seen adverts looking for funding to fix them after you and your like have thrown them on the scrapheap once you've had your sick fun.

No, I'd just put the Saturday Night Fever CD on. All our photocopier were looked after in accordance with the Global Photocopiers Protection Society Guidance and when they had come to the end of their useful office lives were found good homes in small businesses that were prepared to care for them.

Quote: KLRiley @ April 5 2011, 12:01 PM BST

No, I'd just put the Saturday Night Fever CD on. All our photocopier were looked after in accordance with the Global Photocopiers Protection Society Guidance and when they had come to the end of their useful office lives were found good homes in small businesses that were prepared to care for them.

Sez you mate! I have obtained undercover footage that blows that spiel out of the water. Your stage name's not Fernando is it? And did you used to live in Russia?

I notice you have no picture in your avatar.

*Taps side of nose in a knowing manner*

Quote: Blenkinsop @ April 5 2011, 12:05 PM BST

Sez you mate! I have obtained undercover footage that blows that spiel out of the water. Your stage name's not Fernando is it? And did you used to live in Russia?

I notice you have no picture in your avatar.

*Taps side of nose in a knowing manner*

Curse you Tovarisch. But mwahhahaha, you'll never take me alive.

Quote: KLRiley @ April 5 2011, 12:08 PM BST

Curse you Tovarisch. But mwahhahaha, you'll never take me alive.

Mwahhahaha yourself with knobs on! For you have just unwittingly provided me with the main story for the pilot episode of my new Ant & Dec blockbuster.

See you at the BAFTAs.

Har har har!

Quote: KLRiley @ April 5 2011, 12:08 PM BST

Curse you Tovarisch. But mwahhahaha, you'll never take me alive.

You're off the force, Riley! Hand in your piece and shield!

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