Arfur Crown - T' Yorkshire Rapper is an agony uncle who "loves to rap" but "he's bloody crap". He thinks rapping is just talking instead of singing. Here is an example of a reader's problem and his response. Is the song that the response is based on easily identifiable?
Dear Arfur
Ah'm that chuffin' fed up ah just don't know what ter do. It's mi so called mates (Win, Sadie, Ruby and Edna). Thi keep sayin' ah've put that much weight on lately there's not enuff room in t' car ter gimme a lift ter t' bingo.
Wot der yer think ah shud doo?
Flo
So everybody's off ter t' bingo
Drivin' past your flat
Sayin' that they can't fit you in t' car - yer too flippin' fat
Flyin' across ter t' bingo 'all - 'angin' up their 'ats
Sadie, Edna, Win and Ruby
The four mean old bats
But it's fine, Flo, stop yer whinin'
Yer can go ter t' bingo, lady
Just get yer pass out baby, and go on t' bus
Flo, it's obvious!