ASTRONOMER & TV PRESENTER BRIAN COX IS IN A MEETING AT THE BBC
BBC EXEC:
We can't green light the new Show Brian, not in the current climate, the last series cost far too much.
BRIAN:
Educating people about the universe shouldn't be about money surely? it should be about pleasant smiles & sunlit canyons.
BBC EXEC:
That's what I'm talking about! Why all the travel? When you want to talk about Saturn we have to fly you to the North pole, for the Big Bang theory we went to America. and for Quasars you had two weeks in Barbados all inclusive.
BRIAN:
But these are complicated concepts, you need to explain them in a way that your average member of the public can understand.
BBC EXEC:
Look, thick people aside, cards on the table! The feeling among the powers that be, is, and this isn't my personal opinion you understand, but the feeling is that you use this programme as an excuse to go on holiday & have a good time.
BRIAN:
Well that's where you're wrong, If it was up to me the whole thing would be just me in my shed with a telescope looking for evidence of Dark Matter or hidden nebulae.
BBC EXEC:
That's what they all say.
BRIAN:
No honestly, for a start just to save money We've been filming the new series entirely in England. Have a look!
STARTS VIDEO
BRIAN COX IS SITTING A TABLE IN A PUB WITH SEVERAL DRINKS IN FRONT OF HIM
BRIAN:
Although we can't see black holes, we can tell that they are there by the effect they have on the planets & stars that surround them.
Imagine this Pint of Beer is a large planet & my mouth is a Black hole. Once it gets within the huge gravitational pull the beer or planet is pulled in, in fact it starts to travel faster the nearer it gets (DOWNS PINT) much like this Gas Giant here (Downs G & T) or even this Shupernova (DOWNS WHISKEY)
BBC EXEC:
Stop there! That's what we mean, It looks like an excuse for you just to get pissed.
BRIAN:
Only in the name of science, Look at the next clip, about Galaxies, that'll be more up your street.
BRIAN COX IS SITTING A TABLE IN A PUB WITH SEVERAL DRINKS IN FRONT OF HIM
Now these two lines of Cocaine represent adjacent galaxies, and with my nostrils I'm going to show you the inexorable force of Gravity.
BBC EXEC:
Brian you can't be seen sniffing Class A drugs on prime time telly, even Patrick Moore wait's until the credits have rolled.
BRIAN COX:
How about we get some strippers, they can be the International space station & this 10 pound note can be the space shuttle.
BBC EXEC:
That's enough Brian! There's no show & that's final.
BRIAN COX:
Imagine my fist is an Asteroid & your face is the Earth millions & millions of years ago.
BBC EXEC:
Well now you've explained it in laymans terms.... we'll start filming in May.
END
