Do Your Worst

It seems this section is mostly for sketches or longer scripts but I am trying to teach myself joke writing and thought I would post some of my early efforts to try and garner some feedback.

Thanks for your time!

A little of what you fancy does you good, unless your name is Gary Glitter.

Beauty is only skin deep, just try setting a supermodel alight.

The camera never lies, but Photoshop does.

The camera never lies,that's what the captions for.

There's no need to use a sledgehammer to crack a nut, unless the nut is David Cameron and its dropped from a very tall height.

You can't get blood out of a stone, maybe you should try new Ariel at 30 degrees.

You can't get blood out of a stone, but you can get it out WITH a stone.

All I want is sex, all my girlfriend wants is to talk, doesn't she relise women should be obscene and not heard.

You can't have your cake and eat it, then whats the point of cake?

To me, most of those are not jokes or gags or they at least need a lot more work on them.

Gary Glitter joke - too old and not funny
Beauty joke I don't get
Camera, more of a fact than a joke.
etc etc.

The last four you might be able to re-work to upgrade them to passable.

I thought that I had already written a response to this but apparently not! I didn't care for the glitter joke very much and I didn't get the blood from a stone jokes either. The rest I think are pretty good though. I think that the obscene not heard joke is rather good but needs a little bit of rejigging. And I love the cake one.

The girlfriend one has promise but it needs work. The others don't really come across as gags. They lack structure and logic.

Just my two cents. My first few months of joke writing consisted of appallingly bad puns which garnered so much vitriol from my so-called friends that I almost gave it up before I'd even done my first gig.

I'm digressing somewhat. What I mean is... keep at it and you'll find your style before long.

I think there's some promise in most of those gags but as others have said, at the moment they are more like ideas for jokes rather than fully formed gags.

It's too late now (1.47am) and I'm knackered from a gig but if I get a chance tomorrow I'll have another look at them and see if I can make any suggestions.

I did like this one:

You can't get blood out of a stone, maybe you should try new Ariel at 30 degrees.

It does need rewording though to make it better but the funny element is definitely there.

Def.

I like the Ariel one as well.

Maybe for the second Stone one
something like:
You can't get blood out of a stone, so don't use one as a murder weapon

The ariel one I liked, most of them felt a bit familiar or forced a little, like the supermodel one. I think you need to take the idea and work it up, but a lot of everything is to do with performance too so that has to be factored in.

There's some great gags here Ipspaul, the Gary Glitter, 'beauty being skin deep' and the Ariel jokes are all winners imo

Quote: Ipspaul @ March 30 2011, 6:26 PM BST

women should be obscene and not heard.

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This is an old Groucho Marx line.