Anyone fancy having a butchers Page 2

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ March 25 2011, 11:38 AM GMT

Thanks for the feedback people, I was contacted after I posted my failure and these guys want to see me and have told me to bring other examples of my work along.
The thing I really need to know is if its funny.
In relation to the lay out etc I would imagine that will be done for me by those in the know, so to that end any comments on content are important
I will put three more up for review, I don't expect everyone to dance to my tune all weekend but any feed back on content you can offer will give me a clue as to what to show these guys.
Cheers

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Stage directions isn't just layout Teddy - it's content. You have to describe everything that happens in a scene. The prose is part of the script too. It should be economical. Less is more is the cliche here. And that holds true to the dialogue to. Cut EVERYTHING out that is extraneous. Put action in. For example with your opening scene have the guy COMING IN waving the tickets - which prompts the comment about Willy Wonka etc, this then would lead onto the discussion of whether he was used or not. This means the dialogue and exposition is coming from action organically. My favourite part of this was the policemen scene... but again you need to trim it right back and punch it right up.

Good luck with the meeting next week.

Yeah, I'ma good spellerer. T-h-a-t.
Do I win a prize?

I honestly have no idea what you mean?

Are these people you are going to see sitcom people or sketch? Is it an indie company?

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ March 25 2011, 2:41 PM GMT

Indie and I don't want to get your hopes up but the obviously trawl these boards so it might be wise to put up stuff.
They must also know who owns these boards because the contacted me by email, I never contacted them and Paddalack is a pen name.

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I wasn't getting my hopes up Teddy, lol. Just it seemed the work ethic re writing was a bit odd, sitcom companies want sitcom scripts in the main written as such. I guess with sketch based material and etc it can be different. Just thought you should be prepared as to all of that kind of malarkey before journeying down to media central.

You've got a link to your email address directly below your avatar.

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ March 25 2011, 2:41 PM GMT

Indie and I don't want to get your hopes up but the obviously trawl these boards so it might be wise to put up stuff.
They must also know who owns these boards because the contacted me by email, I never contacted them and Paddalack is a pen name.

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I hope it works out for you, but just be careful Teddy. And keep your wits about you.

Def.

Quote: Nat Wicks @ March 25 2011, 2:51 PM GMT

You've got a link to your email address directly below your avatar.

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Everybody now rushes to put their email address under their avatar

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ March 25 2011, 4:09 PM GMT

Thank you for your cautionary concerns, I am going into this with my eyes wide open and my laces double knotted. Obviously I wish it was Hat Trick or another big name but beggars can't be choosers.
I told them what I told the guys on this site from the off, I have no money so I can't get robbed.
If they rob my script I'll just do different one, its only words so I'm risking nothing and have much to gain.
As for what they want they have told me its a sitcom, perhaps they see something they can polish?

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Why don't you look to getting an agent, they'd be interested now that an Indie are interested. I'll try looking some up for you, but there must be some on line. That way the Indie will be cautious at 'ripping' you off, But don't worry, I'm sure they've spotted a great talent and may not even be thinking in those terms.
Agents usually take 10% of the income

I think BB's right Teddy. You ought to try for an agent off the back of the interest in your work and your offer of 50%, although very altruistic, is way way too high!

A good and well-connected agent would only want somewhere between 12.5% and 20% (The 20% normally being if they were to get your work placed overseas) The norm as I understand it is 15%.

May be wrong about that but I don't think so.

Best of luck with your meeting.

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ March 25 2011, 11:38 AM GMT

In relation to the lay out etc I would imagine that will be done for me by those in the know,

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Why? It's not difficult to lay your work out so it looks like a script, why would a producer do it for you? Do it for yourself.

Quote: Blenkinsop @ March 25 2011, 4:31 PM GMT

I think BB's right Teddy. You ought to try for an agent off the back of the interest in your work

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Most agents will probably want a recommendation from a known producer before they will even read your script.

I found this site Teddy but I don't know what it's like, maybe look up some more.

http://www.firstwriter.com/Agents/agents_details.cgi?RecordNumber=16

What I'm saying is, if you mention casually that you are thinking of getting an agent, they should be pleased with that. Don't stress the fact, just mention it in passing.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ March 25 2011, 4:33 PM GMT

Most agents will probably want a recommendation from a known producer before they will even read your script.

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That's true but having read some of your work I think that its strength would certainly interest one who might see potential.

Though as Matthew says they spend more time saying "thanks but no thanks" However one thing I've learnt with writing is that not every route to success follows a handbook and there are often things picked up through very circuitous routes.

In trying to get an agent what's the worst thing that can happen? I'd give it a whirl irrespective of how your meeting pans out.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ March 25 2011, 4:33 PM GMT

Why? It's not difficult to lay your work out so it looks like a script, why would a producer do it for you? Do it for yourself.

Most agents will probably want a recommendation from a known producer before they will even read your script.

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Yes, but if they know there's an interest in Teddy's work......they'll be interested and prob say something like....contact us again if they wish to take you on

Good luck Teddy. Hope it works out for you, if not this time. The creative game is full of false starts, but they do make you wiser in the long run.