BBC rejection letter to John Cleese

This has to be the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

A copy of the first 'Fawlty Towers' script fell through a time warp to the BBC Comedy Department in 2008. This was the response...

http://bitternessspeaking.blogspot.com/2008/05/fawlty-feedback.html

It's a worryingly accurate rejection letter.

It was written by Failed Comedy Writer. Is he the same Failed Comedy Writer who frequents these very forums? If so, work of genius.

I posted this in Writers' Discussion as I felt it was the most apt place to put it.

Good stuff.

I too feel ashamed when Manuel is made the butt of the joke and I'm sure The Daily Mail would agree with me...

This is the original BBC script report. "Fawlty Towers. As dire as its title. A collection of cliches and stock characters, which I can't see as being anything other than a disaster."

That was written by Eric Idle though Micheal.

"Taken as a whole, we didn't quite understand the 'world' of these characters and felt it lacked internal logic. Basil, for instance, is clearly not suited to running a hotel. How did he end up in such a position - and why does he keep doing it? Similarly, his relationship with his wife makes no sense. We can't understand how they could have got together, or why they wouldn't have split up years ago. Our audience is also going to wonder why they haven't had children. And the fact that Basil has hired Manuel - someone clearly not qualified to work as a waiter - to work as waiter is also illogical. Why doesn't he fire Manuel and get someone more qualified? We get the impression you haven't thought the reality of the situation through."

this bit is brilliant.

Very unnecessary dig at Susan N, though, later on. That's uncalled for and spoilt it for me.

Well obviously this has been written as if it came in today and is total rubbish really - a bit smartarse itself because of course it wouldn't be written today.

Quote: Marc P @ March 17 2011, 10:14 AM GMT

That was written by Eric Idle though Micheal.

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Hmm. Geoffrey Perkins had it framed in his office, and it was written by a script editor called Ian Main.

Quote: Micheal Jacob @ March 17 2011, 11:58 AM GMT

Hmm. Geoffrey Perkins had it framed in his office, and it was written by a script editor called Ian Main.

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Bloody script editors what do they know!

On a similar subject, does anyone here write in a 'thesarus' style? (you know trying to cram in as many synonyms as possible like he did in the Dead Parrot and the Cheese Shop sketch)?

I have this feeling that writers don't refer to the thesarus as they used to...

I use a thesaurus frequently to make sure I don't use the same words too often, but not in any comedic way.

Quote: Austin Allegro @ March 17 2011, 10:24 AM GMT

"Taken as a whole, we didn't quite understand the 'world' of these characters and felt it lacked internal logic. Basil, for instance, is clearly not suited to running a hotel. How did he end up in such a position - and why does he keep doing it? Similarly, his relationship with his wife makes no sense. We can't understand how they could have got together, or why they wouldn't have split up years ago. Our audience is also going to wonder why they haven't had children. And the fact that Basil has hired Manuel - someone clearly not qualified to work as a waiter - to work as waiter is also illogical. Why doesn't he fire Manuel and get someone more qualified? We get the impression you haven't thought the reality of the situation through."

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I know this is a joke but it really is such a typical rejection, I've had loads along the same lines, where the script reader assaults you with a sort of Spock-like Vulcan logic. It makes you want to scream really, because real life can't be squeezed into convenient boxes. So in this (admittedly fictional case) the reader is asking the writer why Basil would still be with Sybil and why they didn't split up years ago. Well the answer is obvious - because if they had split up years ago there wouldn't be any comedy. And why doesn't he fire Manuel and get somebody more qualified? Because if he did that there would be no comedy.
Plus real life is JUST like that - people stay in the wrong jobs and wrong marriages all the f**king time. Illogical situations and relationships happen all the f**king time.

Sorry, I'm getting annoyed now. And it's not even real. Just hits a little too close to home I suppose. Grrr.

And calm.

Ommm.

I'd love to get such a fulsome rejection.

Mine usually just come back smeared with marmite, at least I hope it's marmite.

(by which I mean most of my rejections are about 2 lines)

Quote: Griff @ March 19 2011, 11:55 PM GMT

Next sitcom I write is going to be about the f**king Waltons.

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Heh
'Night Griff-Boy.

Quote: Micheal Jacob @ March 17 2011, 10:13 AM GMT

This is the original BBC script report. "Fawlty Towers. As dire as its title. A collection of cliches and stock characters, which I can't see as being anything other than a disaster."

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To be fair Mr Main was right about the cliches etc - he just didn't spot the funny.

Quote: Griff @ March 19 2011, 11:55 PM GMT

Next sitcom I write is going to be about the f**king Waltons.

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Are they a dirty version of the other Waltons?